So the solution is two fold;
1) work on improving your life and becoming more proud of the person you’re becoming,
2) face your fears, talk to girls!
Here are 11 non-creepy ways to ask someone out!
Some peoples first kiss can happen in front of millions of people! Jasmine Lorimer Canadas’ first Bachelorette on the hit reality show Bachelorette Canada can vouch for that. Her first kiss with each of these guys has happened during the filming of any given episode and from watching you must wonder if they enjoyed it more than she did.
It’s not like it was a kiss kiss —so then the question I guess we are supposed to be asking is do you remember your first kiss or do you want to remember your first kiss?
Some kisses can be messy not knowing what you are doing (after all u-tube might not have been around back then and god forbid you ask your friends for help); stomach aches dreading he’s going to kiss you and he does, he regrets it and it didn’t work out. Some first kisses were in high school where you’re kept being told when you kiss someone and you really love someone, it’s amazing so naturally you have all these expectations and then it’s just ok and that relationship ends up being just ok. Then cut to college to the second guy you wind up kissing, end up in a relationship and it becomes love and you remember saying “oh, this is what its suppose to feel like”. Kind of a discovery by kissing the second guy.
That’s right: It’s in his kiss (That’s where it is)!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARZDfcVOwno
KISS Fact: A kiss burns 6.4 calories per minute
Jane Carstens
Is an aversion to swearing a deal breaker for you in Dating? PS: Let’s say all curse words, starting from ass and damn.
Well, cursing itself can sometimes be good for your psyche; it’s a form of venting. Some studies have even claimed it’s a pain reliever. Of course there’s a separate matter of whether someone abuses it or not; for the most part its not an attractive action on a date and can feel more like being in a Godfather Movie! It also has a kind of vicious circle with bad temperament: we swear more easily when we are in a bad mood, which fuels said bad mood. Social media posts and the use of profanities, well that’s another story; keep in mind that everyone can look at said posts and judge current self based on these posts which can make things slightly dangerous and not just in dating.
So, from what we know from our clients’ feedback, unless he/she swears often (even once might be too much), it’s typically not an issue. If you find yourself dating someone and it bothers you that much, either you change, he changes, or you cut (and do remember that you can change too, by choosing to accept that side of him/her).
A bit of a non-answer, I know; but, at least for me, I wouldn’t want the man I’m dating to curse like a sailor in-front of me, but if something drops and he says “Sh!t” from time to time. I won’t get offended, I’ll get him to contribute to the swear jar!
Jane Carstens
Author Alexandra Pascuzzi: Alongside her HR role, she is a regular Relationship Columnist/blogger and she is also involved in Media and PR projects for Matchmaker for Hire.
I often joke that recruiting and matchmaking are basically the same—you find out what a person or business needs, you screen individuals to find candidates who fit the necessary criteria, you arrange introductions with decision makers, and then you cross your fingers for the intangible “chemistry” or “organizational fit.”
For those of you who haven’t worked in matchmaking, let me share something with you: trying to find someone a life partner is exorbitantly more difficult than trying to find a candidate for a role. Recruiting is by no means easy, but if you thought your hiring manager was picky, you have no idea…
During my time as a matchmaker, unrealistic expectations were as common as pancakes at IHOP. I ate unreasonable requirements for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Here are just a few examples of what I dealt with on a daily basis:
Exhibit 1: The client who wouldn’t date anyone named “Laura” because that was his ex-wife’s name.
Exhibit 2: The female client who was 5’1” and yet rebuked the mere suggestion of dating a man under 6’ tall.
Exhibit 3: The client who wrote out an extensive list of certain DOB’s to avoid because her birth chart indicated people born on the specific days/years would not be a fit.
Exhibit 4: The client who ACTUALLY insisted that she wanted to meet a gentleman with “salt and pepper hair.” Brown would not cut it, grey was out of the question…the only thing that would suffice was salt and pepper coloring on her beau.
And these were just additional criteria to top off all of the other narrow specifics!
When it comes to love, rationality goes out the window, even for people who are usually extremely level-headed. Emotion stands in for logic and, as the matchmaker, you end up on a goose chase for a unicorn (preferably a well-travelled, PhD, George Clooney look-a-like unicorn…but with blue eyes of course).
I’m starting to sound jaded. Let me assure you that I’m not–even though there were many days that I felt like I was being set up for failure, there were many successes and wonderful moments that helped me weather the challenges.
Matchmaking made me a better recruiter because it forced me to cultivate tenacity which helps when I’m tasked with finding a specific type of candidate who may not even exist. It promoted a certain persistence within me that comes in handy when hiring managers decline candidates who seem to fit all of the criteria. It developed a determination in me that gets me through those days when a candidate decides to accept a counteroffer and I watch weeks of work go down the drain.
Aside from being a character builder, it also taught me lessons that are applicable across the “people” sector:
- Sometimes gut instincts trump facts. If you accept this early on, you’ll be much happier.
- The sooner you relinquish a need for complete control, the less likely it is that you’ll lose your mind. Recruiting has repeatedly been compared to herding cats for a good reason; there will always be a few strays that you won’t be able to reign in.
- Explicit (and even repetitive) communication is a key component to being successful. It’s better to be Captain Obvious than Captain Oblivious.
- Tough conversations are often necessary. Being a ‘yes man/woman’ can only get you so far. Sometimes you have to dish up a reality check.
- Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault wears you down. As a matchmaker or a recruiter, you’re the middleman. This doesn’t mean you need to say sorry for other people’s mishaps/character flaws/bad behavior. Trust me, you’ll feel a lot better at the end of the day if you don’t make yourself a professional martyr. I’m still not so good at this one but I’m working on it.
Matchmaking really did make me a better recruiter and it prepared me for corporate recruiting in more ways than I could have ever anticipated. The greatest part of transitioning from the one industry to the other, is that I still get that amazing feeling that pops up every time I find the “right” person and make a “match” that benefits all parties involved.
Happy Tuesday and a big thank you to Jane Carstens for teaching me how to be a great matchmaker and (inadvertently) a strong recruiter!