“You Too?”

 

When you first start dating someone, it can be exciting to discover that you have a lot in common.

CS LEWIS says Friendships start with the explicit or implicit statement, “you too?”

You love this painting too, you like this music too, you had the same experience with your parents too.  You see relationships start when there’s two people looking at the same thing and they have it in common…… “you too”. And that’s the beginning of a particular kind of relationship intimacy it brings.

However, it is important to be open-minded and accept differences that aren’t deal-breakers.  Being able to appreciate and respect each other’s unique interests, perspectives and backgrounds can take things to the next level.

 

 

 

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The Friendship Approach to Dating

 

In the present dating society, hardly anyone has time to actually even meet someone, let alone find ways to make the process smooth for you and the people you date. It’s not a one-size-fits-all solution but it can provide a strong foundation for a lasting, meaningful relationship.

There are 3 levels of friendship, and if you get stuck at lower levels it’s going to be a problem, especially for your dating life.

  • The lowest level is friendship of transaction. There is nothing wrong with it — it’s just incomplete. If that’s all you have you will be hopelessly lonely.
  • Above that is friendships of beauty, that are based on admiration of another person. You just want to be around them, they’re magnetic, it could be because of their physical beauty, sense of humor, intelligence, or success, but if that beauty goes away, so does the friendship.
  • The friendship that actually brings satisfaction is called the friendship of virtue…. its cosmically beautifully useless……its one where you have the greatest amount of knowledge about each other, because you’re truly interested in each other, your truly known because you truly want to know, and visa versa, you are loving them for them, and they are loving you for you. It is the hardest, thus why it’s virtuous, and the ultimate secret to the happiest life.
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Dating Someone with Different Ideological Views?

Despite what you may think, dating someone with different ideological views (and having a healthy, fulfilling relationship) is completely possible given the divisive dating climate around it. In fact, SPIRITUAL or POLITICAL differences in a relationship aren’t necessarily deal-breakers, particularly if you and your SO are OK with it. Without differences in backgrounds and beliefs, very little growth can happen individually.

So, let’s talk about something I find troubling — lately people won’t even consider going out with somebody who disagrees. People are missing a lot of things and there’s a lot more to a person in addition to their views.  If one would realize there are many other dimensions to life, and that people are considered as whole, big, meaningful biographies worthy of a notice—then that’s a good frame of mind to live with—- look beyond your reflection in the mirror!

“Ideological beliefs shouldn’t be a big deal in choosing a life partner, nor should they dominate the relationship. I spend a lot of time dating people I disagree with and I’ve learned to talk to them and respect them” concludes Client Susan, “You find a way to do it, and I’ve been grateful to have a wider perspective.  It may not have changed my mind, but it’s changed my spirit.”

“I care more about how you treat me, then about how you vote” states Client Michael.

 

 

According to a Liberal Christian Matchmaker and her clients.

 

NOTE: If you’re in love or going out with a person who questions [multiple scenarios], but if that person is rude or hostile to people they meet, that’s a different thing and maybe you should think twice.

 

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Seeking an Exceptional Match

We’re excited to introduce our Vancouver client. An extroverted and friendly Entrepreneur, Investor, family man, 5’11”, in his late 70’s and he is putting himself out there with hopes of finding love.  Grounded by his Pacific Northwest roots, he’s a humble kindhearted gentleman with an incredible laugh. He works out, enjoys motorized boating, great food, lively conversation, dancing, and travels comfortably anywhere.

A great match for him is a woman between 65-75 years old, who is youthful, stylish, attractive, intelligent, outgoing, fit, flexible, able to travel, residing in Vancouver.

Interested in meeting him? Contact me  [email protected] .

Looking forward to hearing from you!

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Surrender Dating Challenge

I have noticed that for most of the singles I speak to, including me, surrendering is often the hardest thing to do.  And to be realistic, it’s hard to entirely step away from hustle-culture when you are in a life you are passionate about and a romantic relationship you want to progress in.

Well, that hustle-culture has finally hit dating.  And when things are not going the way, we wanted them to, then we give up.  We think that something is wrong with us or the person we’re meant for or the love we are desiring to find, doesn’t exist.

If this is you, imagine this VALENTINE’S DAY to consider your journey to attracting romantic love. It’s like driving, you’re on a journey and when you meet your love you’ll be excited and know that there will be detours along the way (unfavorable dates, no one calling you back, not asking you out on a second or third date, emotionally unavailable singles, etc.) and that you may have to do things differently than you had preferred, and it may take you longer to get to him/her than you expected but eventually you’ll meet and you’ll be so happy that you didn’t give up.

So, decide that from now on if your dating life is unfolding in a certain way and the only reason you are resisting is because of a personal preference, why not let go of that preference and let life be in charge.

I’m confident it’s the most powerful thing that you can do.

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Not Interested? Just Say So.

 

Most singles often don’t know how to express what’s going on for them when dating is not working. It might be they simply don’t understand why its not working or know how to explain it. Its like you could literally run a mile away from it, and its making single people not want to go on ANY dates.

The dating scene has completely evolved over the last decade where I have played cupid. One factor that makes dating harder is finding someone looking for the same type of relationship. Over 50% of the singles I speak to lately, indicate that this factor is a problem.  People define relationships differently, and they have different approaches to beginning one.  Trying to date someone who does not indicate wanting to take the relationship the next level can be frustrating. That is why it’s important to simply ask where someone is at and be honest with your hopes.

What if one could simply and politely say: “Hey I enjoyed spending time with you and would like to keep getting to know you” and give them an out if they’re not feeling the same way (e.g. “and yet, if you’re not interested, zero hard feelings.  I’d just like to know where you’re at”)

Who here agrees? Thoughts…

 

 

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Everyone Agrees: Christmas is about Love.

 

It’s almost Christmas time again and, to borrow the words of a famous disco hit in the 70’s “Love is in the air”.   And its a well-known fact that love is “in the air” every Christmas. It features in songs we hear as we shop, commercials we see, and present in the cards we send and the words we write on the tags we attach to the presents we give.  With Love From……

But when you read them phrase by phrase, and apply them to yourself, if you are single, they can transpose into a different key altogether. It can cease to be rhetorically pleasing and emotionally soothing;  instead, they become a deeply challenging analysis of your single life.

Perhaps that’s not what we expected this Christmas time….but when romantic love visits you again, I pray it stays till next Christmas.

 

 

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Victoria’s own Golden Bachelorette

 

Before retiring, she has had a long-standing career in education in Victoria and is most proud of her work volunteering. This bachelorette is spending her “go-go years” planning group hikes, listening to a all kinds of music and fun golf. After traveling to over 20 countries, and a few road trips, it’s safe to say she is looking for a travel buddy to accompany her on her travels who is kind, smart, funny, and confident.

Fun Fact; She declared her love for the Beatles from a young age. One of her highlights was seeing Paul  McCartney live in Guadalajara, Mexico where he performed nonstop for 3 hours.

 

She is genuinely searching for a late-in-life partner, 65+, who is getting the most out of their physical attributes, pushing themselves, and looking to have fun.

Interested ?  For more information please DM or email [email protected]

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One word: LOVE

                                                                                         

One word:  LOVE —  It’s ingrained in my mind and heart and guides my thinking, everyday.

But for some singles, it can feel like a hard word.  Which can actually be good for you, as it can give cause to stop, pause and think, “Love”.  Even when it’s hard and feels almost unattainable like a pie-in-the-sky kind of emotional crutch,  in your world.

Which is why I’m thankful in knowing in no uncertain terms what love looks like.

Here’s what I have learned;

  • Sometimes love looks like waiting,
  • Sometimes love looks like listening,
  • Sometimes love makes us uncomfortable,
  • Sometimes love is exhausting.

And yet LOVE continues toward the purpose it was given.

 

Can you explain LOVE in one sentence ?

 

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We are on the search for a Vancouver Bachelor for our Vancouver Bachelorette.

                                                                     

We are on the search for a Vancouver Bachelor for our Vancouver Bachelorette.

 

Meet Bachelorette B, a fun loving, smart educational professional in her 30’s.  Brimming with positive energy and intellectual curiosity, she enjoys reading, drinking coffee and is active in sailing, cycling, and running on the seawall with her dog.  Bachelorette B is a nurturing woman who loves cooking for her friends. She is funny , kind, adventurous and is a real gem!

 

Her ideal matches are guys 35-45, who are smart, genuinely kind, funny, quirky guys.  She’s very open and wants to fall in love with his brain and would like to have a family. Prefer Vancouver area (but lower mainland ok too).

Interested ?  For more information please DM or email [email protected]

 

 

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