First Dates- They can’t all Lead to Love

Even if you’re pretty sure you’re hitting it off with someone, the signs of a good first date aren’t always easy to recognize,  but it’s a safe bet if you both add extra time to your parking meter 😊

While most people probably define a “good date” as one that leads to more dates down the line, that’s not the only or best way to look at it.  What we like to tell our clients is that it’s totally ok if it doesn’t lead to a second.  Don’t get me wrong it can be disappointing if a first date doesn’t turn into a second, but having a good first date is a self-confidence booster.  It can remind you that it’s fine to go out and have fun with someone interesting, rather than staying home staring at your phone.  They can’t all lead to love, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be good fun!

If you are finding more often than not, a date with the same person doesn’t go past one or two dates, it’s time to manage your expectations and cast a wider net.  Here are some tips to having more fun on first dates;

  1. Instead of auditioning to be partner material, you should just go, have fun and bring the best and happiest version of you to the table.
  2. Don’t take anything personally, and  you shouldn’t let one bad date sour your views towards dating.
  3. Don’t get trapped in the job interview date, they are awkward and high stress.
  4. Try to plan a date that is active in some way – good dates are always interactive.
  5. Take comfort in the idea that everyone is uncomfortable, and that is a learning experience. The more you grow, the better a dater you will be. The better a dater you are, the better the fit will be when you do land the relationship.

Me? I’m an optimist- from the unique moments of my clients connecting.

/by

How to Overcome Singledom Birthday Stress

I am about to celebrate a birthday.  Which one, I won’t tell but I don’t feel any older, other than just another day where I have to remember to change the digit when people ask how old I am .  But enough about MY birthday!

Birthdays are like your own personal national holiday; the one day a year when you’ve gathered the most important people in your life and they celebrate in your honor, make you feel like royalty, and pretty much let you do whatever you want.   Or at the very least, give you a cake and if you are single they say “you know, you’re not getting any younger with indecision, another year”.  

So if you think that spending your birthday single is terrifying, here’s a few reasons exactly why you have to do it;

  1. You don’t have to stress about planning anything big.
  2. You’re free to do litterly anything you want.
  3. You don’t have to keep anyone waiting; take as little or as long as you like doing the things you enjoy.
  4. And lastly, being alone leaves you with no option other than to be brave; it will remind you of how naturally it is to be social (no social media) and talk to more people and you never know who you might meet that will turn your birthday from a single status to taken.    

Trust me , you will find that this isn’t difficult at all!  What would be difficult is if your birthday is on February 14th ( Valentine’s Day).  If you’re a woman, you’ve officially set yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment –now every guy you date will have to do something special, squared.  If you’re a guy, you now have to spend your birthday making somebody else feel special, because Hallmark said so.  

/by

Put Winter to Bed – Reset your Love Life!

While the stars are in your favor, the Spring Equinox is the perfect time to shake things up a little – rejuvenate stale relationships, get your love life together, and go on a new dating adventure.

So, make the most of the Spring Equinox with a few tips of inspiration for a new romantic pursuit ;

  • Make it happen!  If you haven’t been on a date in a while , set one up.   If you’ve been feeling discouraged with your dating life, your time off from the dating scene will allow you to jump back in with a new excitement and optimism.
  • Do a different kind of date night. Step outside the regular routine of dinner or bars, and try something totally different.
  • Tell your crush that you like them…. I know this can sometimes feel like the scariest thing in the world – instead of being scared of your fears remember the best-case scenario can happen, too.

In short, take full advantage of the Spring Equinox and remember to give yourself realistic timelines and goals and the time to enjoy it is now.

Bring. It. On!  

/by

The Pros and Cons of First Dates

Are they a good time for you?  If you think about it, the First First date was Adam and Eve.  They settled on apple picking as an activity, had a serpent as a chaperone and the rest is history. 

Today the all-important first date isn’t easy for most.  Between the pressure of who’s going to pay, how to keep the conversation going and how might it end,  there are so many moving pieces which for some can make it a less than appealing way to spend an evening.  And yet traditional dates are held up as a romantic ideal, and a must do if you want to meet someone.

Here are some ways our idea of a “date” has dramatically varied over the years;

Pre-19th century: Who needs dating when your matchmaking parents can set you up?

Early 1900s: A date involves a “gentleman caller” and is definitely chaperoned

1920s: Dating is about going out and playing the field.

1940s and 1950s: Dating is about procuring a husband ASAP.

1960s and 1970s: A date is really about sex.

1990s: Dating isn’t actually dating, it’s “hooking up.”

So, what does this mean for the picture-perfect first date today? Given how fast things change (it was only a few years ago swiping right wasn’t a term we even knew), trying to get a “first date” right isn’t worth getting stressed over.  

For our clients formal dates do still happen, but there’s a ton of in between that comes from us that by the time the “first date” happens you’ve already gotten to know so much about the other person that the initial first face-to-face is exceedingly casual or already has an air or familiarity.

Fact;   48% of all singles are using Facebook to do their own adept stalking before a date — WE actually have the first date by meeting them.

 Now, it’s all up to you.

contact me at [email protected]

/by

Everybody gets lonely, period!

When I think of Valentine’s Day, (a day for love and togetherness if you are in love), I can’t help but think at the same time that it can be a very trying time for those of us who are Solohood and hate the pressure of Valentine’s Day but love the thought of romance.  

There is widespread assumption that single people are lonely, but it turns out anyone can be lonely, and anyone that is alone , isn’t necessarily  lonely. According to recent studies over half of the population (54% being single) now say they always or sometimes feel alone, and one in five say they rarely feel close to anyone.  So based on this, to be lonely you don’t have to be alone – it’s about the quality of your connections with people, and whether they genuinely relate to you.  

Shockingly, most clients we speak to say that the loneliest they have felt is when they were with someone, but were still lonely.  The UK government has actually developed a Minister for Loneliness , whose purpose is trying to figure out why Brits are lonely and what interventions can smooth that out…….sounds like a lonely job to me! 

Studies also say that the ever-present online activity, single or not, is the main reason why most people feel lonely.  If you’re single,  the more time (can be years for some) you spend swiping left or right, is counterproductive in the dating world. 

Sure, we need vitamins, clean air and connection for our personal well being.  However, if you are Single, take some time to notice how much you need actual connection!  You might find you are not lonely, you’re just alone.

Happy to chat !

Happy to chat !

/by

It’s, wait what, one month till Valentines Day?

With February 14th right around the corner, get ready for it, you’re about to see heart-shaped balloons and over-sized stuffed animals everywhere….you can just feel the love in the air.  And believe it or not, both guys and gals, are about to  press the panic button on single life , which really doesn’t make any sense to me. 

If you actually take the time to look around , you’ll notice there are a lot more single people walking the streets by themselves than couples holding hands.  And just because you’re single on Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean you’ll be single forever. 

Dating – as I am so often reminding people – is a skill.  It’s something that you can take control of and improve with conscious effort ……..along with a little help. Part of the point of working with a Matchmaker is to give you highly-specific, personalized advice to make successful dating a reality.  I guarantee if you have the right mindset, play your cards right, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be able to meet someone before February 14th. 

Your thoughts?

/by

How to set a Personal Budget for Dating in 2019

We budget everything in our lives — food,entertainment, travel, and so on.  One thing we don’t tend to think about in terms of savings though, is dating.  When we take somebody out for a night on the town, we tend to want to go all out.  This is especially true if you’ve just met someone and are actively trying to impress them.  After all, if you took someone out on a first date that consisted of McDonald’s paid with a coupon,followed by a Netflix movie at your buddy’s place, are the chances good for a second date?  Maybe not.

However, that doesn’t mean you should spend tons and tons on the dating scene either. If you do, then all your careful budgeting elsewhere goes to waste. Instead, set a monthly budget for dating. Depending on your earnings, this budget can be high or low, though it should realistically never exceed 10% of your monthly income. Stick to this number while still finding ways to have fun, and you’ll earn a reputation for being a fiscally conservative dating machine.

A recent survey has revealed that, in fact, an average date night in Canada clocks in at $125, with those in Vancouver paying the most of all ($149). Globally, however, a date night in Canada is still cheaper than the same date in several other major global cities.

  • Vancouver is the most expensive city in Canada to date in with an average dating costing $149
  • Winnipeg is the country’s cheapest city for a date with a night out setting you back $116
  • Canadian couples are paying $5 more than their global counterparts for a date.
  • The average Canadian date costs $125 while the worldwide average date is $120
  • Toronto is now the 9th most expensive city in the world to date in – shooting up two places in since 2017
  • Oslo is the world’s most expensive city, with $221 needed to cover a night out
  • Istanbul is the world’s cheapest city for a date at just $40 is needed for a romantic night out

In the end , quality over quantity when it comes to dating……and we can help with that!

Contact [email protected]

/by

5 Reasons Daddy Christmas Should be your Next Boyfriend

As you might have heard, your main man Santa is back and on the market.  Here are a couple of the many reasons he’s actually a total catch. 

  1. He has the best beard of any man you will ever meet
  2. He’s really buff under all that velour
  3. He’ll never forget to get you presents and knows exactly what you want
  4. He’s great with animals, especially moody reindeer
  5. His ride is a flying magical sleigh

Signed;   Private Matchmaker for Santa

/by

Give real gifts of love this Christmas

For those of us less fortunate enough not to be in a relationship, the coming of Christmas can present a challenge.   Let’s be honest; whether you care about your single status or not listening to relatives probing about our dating life can be draining, as can finding a home for the mountain of small amusing gifts coming your way.  For example, being in receipt of wall art or badass affirmations books and you immediately file it under a mental tab marked: Single at Christmas, again – sorted.

But there is a solution; And it’s simple –Give a gift of something to someone who needs it– Choose Love.

So, don’t shut out the idea of helping someone find love –give them a real present of love. This week, we have had several calls from people who realize that waiting patiently to let love find you does not have to be the case and this Christmas we are helping caring friends and family buy loved ones appropriate and indulgent matchmaking membership gifts, the thing that someone single actually needs; to go from single to taken!

Presents for single people truly in need; a solution to your Christmas shopping- It’s what we do.

Since you’re here, give us a call to find out more!  [email protected]

love ball and buttons  https://bigloveball.com/

/by

The new “It Breakup”

We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.

I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.

Dah!  You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”

Thank you, next……….

/by