Heads up! Only 1 Month till Valentine’s Day!

Here it comes! Just when you were resting on your laurels making it thru the holidays being single……its Valentine’s Day!  Call us kind of a weird-Os’ but Valentine’s Day is our favorite holiday.   Of course, we love Christmas but Valentine’s Day is special …. because it’s about a love that lasts all year for us!

So how do you get through being single on Valentine’s Day without quietly losing your mind? Glad you asked; Get Ready for Next Valentine’s Day!

Getting through Valentine’s Day this year is the first step. The final step is getting ready for Valentine’s Day next year… and each year after that. This may sound like a task that’s going to leave you waking up screaming in the night, but hear me out. Just as the key to getting through this Valentine’s Day is to take steps that give you greater control, the key to making it through future ones is to apply those same principles to your life. Dating – as I’m so often reminding people – is a skill. It’s something that you can take control of and improve with conscious effort along with a little help.

Making the choice to develop and improve those skills is part of how you make Valentine’s Day something you can enjoy instead of something you endure – whether you’re single or in a relationship. And while I’m not big on things like New Years resolutions, Valentine’s Day makes as good a day as any to decide that you’re going to actively work towards concrete steps to becoming more productive in dating.  Part of the point of working with a Matchmaker is to give you highly-specific, personalized advice and tools so you can make romantic success a reality. Whether you need to troubleshoot your dating life, get better results or make a total transformation, you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Ok so now you have been warned, there are no excuses.  Take control of your dating life and make this the last Valentine’s Day you have to suffer through alone.

I’m looking for your thoughts!  Let’s hear them!

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Love Notes in The Form of People- But Are You Listening?

“The Universe” responds and sends you messages all the time. Everything you see “out there” every single day is a response to what you are thinking, feeling, believing and doing.  But here is the really exciting news—you can make your world change within hours. How cool is that?

If your desire is to create a vibrant and fun new relationship with someone you’d love to spend time with a sign might be: you meet a stranger in line and a conversation ignites, you open your Facebook page and see a comment on one of your posts, or your sister calls to tell you she has someone you should meet.  Now the problem is, not everyone sees these little things as signs and if you miss the sign, you miss knowing if this could be creating your relationship dream and even worse you’ll literally stop the creation.  Ouch!  Well whether you overthink the “signs” or not and are not sure if you are heading in the right direction of finding a partner, I believe there are no coincidences.

Spreading love and understanding into “the universe” is common practice for us and our clients love the fact that we are able to give highly-specific, proactive, personalized “signs” when it comes to the roadmap that leads to their relationship success.

We always love to work our matchmaking “magic” through a love note in the form of a person.  Its up to you to figure out what to do with it!

 

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If your looking for Christmas LOVE then you are at the right place!

For many years, I can’t wait to watch all the Christmas movies possible that are aired on television during this holiday week.  Almost all Christmas movies follow the standard formula of someone discovering happiness over the holiday season usually by falling in LOVE.  Some of these movies are good as long as they’re done well.  So, without further ado……here are my favorites as I look forward to re-watching again this year. What’s yours?

Movie: A Boyfriend for Christmas – A young girl asks Santa for a boyfriend, which he promised to deliver in 20 years.  Twenty years later the same Santa brings her together with a boy she met briefly in her youth…..(Déjà vu)

Movie: Married By Christmas – Lady executive of a family business must get married before Christmas to prevent her slightly flaky sister from inheriting the company….(might be worth it!) 

Movie: Marry Me for Christmas – Business woman hires an employee to act as her fiance over Christmas to satisfy a mother pressuring her to get married….(who isn’t familiar with this one!)

Movie: The Mistletoe Promise – Two people hurt during past Christmases come together in a pact to help each other professionally over the holiday…..(The obvious happens)

Movie: Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus – Santa’s son has to find a wife before Christmas….(call Matchmaker Santa!)

Oh Oh Oh Merry Christmas !

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All I want for Christmas is you!

What’s your attitude about dating over the holidays? 

Forget the latest new gadgets, put down that brand-new watch, leave that aftershave on the shelf; Ladies, what men really want for Christmas is Love.   According to how busy I am this time of the year, men are the ones who really crave romance during the holidays.  For them the worst day of the year to be single is Christmas Day. Surprised?

Well it is possible to find love at any time of the year, but just 12 months ago, December 2015, I was lucky enough to meet Michael (not his real name) who took some time out of the holiday chaos to seek a different approach to find romance.

My advice was simple, lets put together an action plan to find love.  Its no different than a business plan, combined with no nonsense tips for finding his perfect mate and not wasting time with someone he was not compatible with.   We walked thru the steps which included scouting thru a series of confidential, custom high end ads that we ran in the paper and social media.

 

Then, in January, I met Elizabeth (not her real name) who saw his ad.  After qualifying she was a great fit for him, they met in February, and they both were smitten.  While I admit, you never know how things will play out with couples I introduce when it comes to chemistry, but if I’ve learned anything and the advice I give my clients,  you sometimes have to step outside the box and at least give things a try.  Today, December 15, 2016, just 12 months later, they’ve both had their Christmas wishes come true.

Lastly, here is a card from the self declared “lover’s sweethearts” I received in the mail today from their recent travels together quoting, “Every day with Michael, no matter what we’re doing, is such a wonderful day.  He truly is the love of my life.’”

aka…..Mistletoe Matchmaker!

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It Had To Be You

If you are looking for Christmas Love in BC then you are in the right place! Contact me to hear more….aka her Mistletoe Matchmaker !

[email protected] 

Seen in the Victoria Times Colonist

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Dating: The less the merrier

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As a Matchmaker, I have always found the concept of speed dating fascinating. For some who have the tendency to talk people’s ears off, you are still in the process of trying to explain to your bedazzled dating partner who you are before the 3-minute buzzer goes off, and for others they don’t have any troubles.  Yet research does point out a different dating problem; being confronted with a large number of choices can make it harder to make a good decision.  In fact, it can even prevent you from making a decision at all.

You might assume that when trying to find a good partner, having a large varied pool of potential candidates available to you to date is a good thing, but research indicates that it is not. Similarly, when you are presented with more potential partners you do not experience any greater emotional satisfaction than one with fewer options.  (they were, if anything, more confused about their choices). If you think about it this does not only pertain to the world of dating.  Have you ever had trouble finding a house to buy?  Well, its not surprising then, you don’t want to see every house for sale, you just want to be shown the ones that fit.  In short, we use all kinds of experts on a daily basis and apparently, we do so for a good reason.

In conclusion, when pressured for time, especially this holiday season and being faced with many competing options, “fast and frugal” decision making can (potentially) lessening the quality of our dates.  Selecting a future spouse based on this might be overdoing it a bit, but when overwhelmed with the many choices of online suitors or potentials at a speed-dating event, my clients if anything, are saying that by reducing and simplifying the process with highly specific, personalized advice that guides the dating decision making, has helped them get to where they are today.

In other words, less is more “merrier” with a little help.

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Perfect Love

If there is one question every one fears wrestling with it’s “How do I know if she/he is the one?”.  A question that could change the course of our lives, for the better or for worse. While that may seem to be a yes or no question, I’ve spent the last 15 years of my matchmaking career listening to clients who wonder if it’s “the one” and I must say, its caused unnecessary woe.

Sure, I do meet some clients who report knowing “it’s the one” within minutes of meeting, and then there are others that often torment themselves by focusing on what was “not perfect” with who they have dated and avoid taking responsibility for their own issues.

Well, the truth is we are rarely, if ever, going to feel fully prepared (and confident of perfection) when a great opportunity for LOVE comes our way — and we have to be okay with that.

I believe that all my clients can do great things when it comes to dating-even before they think they are ready. I believe this because I am happy to report, its proven, that many are thriving in relationships today.   We all grow and thrive by taking risks, accessing confidence even when we don’t feel 100% competent and stepping out even when we’re not perfect!  It’ll never be perfect – do it anyway!

You see…….she’s perfect and I’m, well, her Matchmaker! Contact me to hear more [email protected] 

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Our Bachelorette Canada….. Bachelor

If 90% of the The Bachelorette Canada Super Fans know that Mikhel Sickand is the full package and you live in the West Coast, here’s our very available BC Bachelor. Contact me to learn more ! 

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How to Find the Time to “Do it all and Date”

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Can you imagine dating and doing what you are doing now for the next 1 or 5 years?  Does that work or does it terrify you?  If it terrifies you, you’re not alone.  Most people I meet can hardly picture how there going to survive the next week with the way that they live, work and date – let alone the next 5 years!

This is a major problem as most of us want to have more fun, more time, better dates and the reality that we end up with is far from that. Overwhelmed, time-starved and buried in an endless number of online potentials who are looking for romance on dating sites, who are not serious enough, who send you winks, smiles, pokes only to find they are “experimenting” and then they “ghost” you.

I’m far from having all the answers, but I have been successfully matching couples for 15 years now, helping them with all that.  Plus, the last couple years been taking my business to the next level, moved on from a 10-year marriage, and trying to squeeze in exercise, so yeah – I get how crazy life can be.  However, because I have the proper systems in place in for my clients and my business, I was able to not only survive – but THRIVE- amongst the craziness of life this year and successfully change a lot lives too.  What I can do is help give you some highly-specific, personalized advice when it comes to helping you follow the road-map that leads to your romantic success.

You can have it all!  Part of the solution- prioritize wisely, be crystal clear on what is important, make the time and get a game plan to find LOVE.

Jane Carstens

 

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Halloween Dating: Trick or Treat?

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So the solution is two fold;

1) work on improving your life and becoming more proud of the person you’re becoming,

2) face your fears, talk to girls!

Here are 11 non-creepy ways to ask someone out!

11 non-creepy ways to ask someone out

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