spiderman-kiss

 

Some peoples first kiss can happen in front of millions of people!  Jasmine Lorimer Canadas’ first Bachelorette on the hit reality show Bachelorette Canada can vouch for that.  Her first kiss with each of these guys has happened during the filming of any given episode and from watching you must wonder if they enjoyed it more than she did.

It’s not like it was a kiss kiss —so then the question I guess we are supposed to be asking is do you remember your first kiss or do you want to remember your first kiss?

 

Some kisses can be messy not knowing what you are doing (after all u-tube might not have been around back then and god forbid you ask your friends for help); stomach aches dreading he’s going to kiss you and he does, he regrets it and it didn’t work out. Some first kisses were in high school where you’re kept being told when you kiss someone and you really love someone, it’s amazing so naturally you have all these expectations and then it’s just ok and that relationship ends up being just ok.  Then cut to college to the second guy you wind up kissing, end up in a relationship and it becomes love and you remember saying “oh, this is what its suppose to feel like”.  Kind of a discovery by kissing the second guy.

That’s right: It’s in his kiss (That’s where it is)!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARZDfcVOwno

KISS Fact: A kiss burns 6.4 calories per minute

 Jane Carstens

 

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Is an aversion to swearing a deal breaker for you in Dating? PS: Let’s say all curse words, starting from ass and damn.

Well, cursing itself can sometimes be good for your psyche; it’s a form of venting. Some studies have even claimed it’s a pain reliever.  Of course there’s a separate matter of whether someone abuses it or not; for the most part its not an attractive action on a date and can feel more like being in a Godfather Movie!  It also has a kind of vicious circle with bad temperament: we swear more easily when we are in a bad mood, which fuels said bad mood.  Social media posts and the use of profanities, well that’s another story; keep in mind that everyone can look at said posts and judge current self based on these posts which can make things slightly dangerous and not just in dating.

So, from what we know from our clients’ feedback, unless he/she swears often (even once might be too much), it’s typically not an issue. If you find yourself dating someone and it bothers you that much, either you change, he changes, or you cut (and do remember that you can change too, by choosing to accept that side of him/her).

A bit of a non-answer, I know; but, at least for me, I wouldn’t want the man I’m dating to curse like a sailor in-front of me, but if something drops and he says “Sh!t” from time to time. I won’t get offended, I’ll get him to contribute to the swear jar!

Jane Carstens

Author Alexandra Pascuzzi: Alongside her HR role, she is a regular Relationship Columnist/blogger and she is also involved in Media and PR projects for Matchmaker for Hire.

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I often joke that recruiting and matchmaking are basically the same—you find out what a person or business needs, you screen individuals to find candidates who fit the necessary criteria, you arrange introductions with decision makers, and then you cross your fingers for the intangible “chemistry” or “organizational fit.”

For those of you who haven’t worked in matchmaking, let me share something with you: trying to find someone a life partner is exorbitantly more difficult than trying to find a candidate for a role. Recruiting is by no means easy, but if you thought your hiring manager was picky, you have no idea…

During my time as a matchmaker, unrealistic expectations were as common as pancakes at IHOP. I ate unreasonable requirements for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Here are just a few examples of what I dealt with on a daily basis:

Exhibit 1: The client who wouldn’t date anyone named “Laura” because that was his ex-wife’s name.

Exhibit 2: The female client who was 5’1” and yet rebuked the mere suggestion of dating a man under 6’ tall.

Exhibit 3: The client who wrote out an extensive list of certain DOB’s to avoid because her birth chart indicated people born on the specific days/years would not be a fit.

Exhibit 4: The client who ACTUALLY insisted that she wanted to meet a gentleman with “salt and pepper hair.” Brown would not cut it, grey was out of the question…the only thing that would suffice was salt and pepper coloring on her beau.

And these were just additional criteria to top off all of the other narrow specifics!

When it comes to love, rationality goes out the window, even for people who are usually extremely level-headed. Emotion stands in for logic and, as the matchmaker, you end up on a goose chase for a unicorn (preferably a well-travelled, PhD, George Clooney look-a-like unicorn…but with blue eyes of course).

I’m starting to sound jaded. Let me assure you that I’m not–even though there were many days that I felt like I was being set up for failure, there were many successes and wonderful moments that helped me weather the challenges.

Matchmaking made me a better recruiter because it forced me to cultivate tenacity which helps when I’m tasked with finding a specific type of candidate who may not even exist. It promoted a certain persistence within me that comes in handy when hiring managers decline candidates who seem to fit all of the criteria. It developed a determination in me that gets me through those days when a candidate decides to accept a counteroffer and I watch weeks of work go down the drain.

Aside from being a character builder, it also taught me lessons that are applicable across the “people” sector:

  • Sometimes gut instincts trump facts. If you accept this early on, you’ll be much happier.
  • The sooner you relinquish a need for complete control, the less likely it is that you’ll lose your mind. Recruiting has repeatedly been compared to herding cats for a good reason; there will always be a few strays that you won’t be able to reign in.
  • Explicit (and even repetitive) communication is a key component to being successful. It’s better to be Captain Obvious than Captain Oblivious.
  • Tough conversations are often necessary. Being a ‘yes man/woman’ can only get you so far. Sometimes you have to dish up a reality check.
  • Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault wears you down. As a matchmaker or a recruiter, you’re the middleman. This doesn’t mean you need to say sorry for other people’s mishaps/character flaws/bad behavior. Trust me, you’ll feel a lot better at the end of the day if you don’t make yourself a professional martyr. I’m still not so good at this one but I’m working on it.

Matchmaking really did make me a better recruiter and it prepared me for corporate recruiting in more ways than I could have ever anticipated. The greatest part of transitioning from the one industry to the other, is that I still get that amazing feeling that pops up every time I find the “right” person and make a “match” that benefits all parties involved.

Happy Tuesday and a big thank you to Jane Carstens for teaching me how to be a great matchmaker and (inadvertently) a strong recruiter!

fishers-of-men-logo

The phrase “fishers of men” is one of the most well-known lines in the entire New Testament, and the most important metaphor for evangelism. Sounds like a job for Matchmaker for Hire! We are self-confessed natural born matchmakers with a penchant for finding great men, and men we get!

Men who are busy and successful they have neither the time nor inclination to traipse through the traditional dating process in order to find their girl.

“It always amazes me how many powerful men there are, willing to do what it takes for us to find them the woman of their dreams.  We scour the country acting as the men’s eyes and ears, looking for eligible – and qualified – women to add to our exclusive ladies’ database. I can cast the net far wider than they ever could- however not as easy as spotting a true blonde or svelte 20-something, we rely on extensive interviews and instinct for that; so far, I haven’t been wrong.”

There is a difference between matchmaking and dating services like eHarmony or Match.com. We deal with commitment-minded men who are well educated, well groomed, upscale, amazing guys interested in being introduced to potential wives.

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So if you single and interested to learn more about our affiliate program where you are eligible to be matched with one of our VIP clients, and are looking for honesty, not false hope, contact us!

 

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Clients often ask me is it really just blind Luck in finding a soulmate? Ok, I’ll bite. I’ve often wondered after interviewing many singles for well over a decade, does it really come down to LUCK when it comes to finding your soulmate or does stuff just happen?  So I decided to do some actual research that confirms that for both men and women, you can control your luck.

We found, 7 out of 10 people generally believe they are lucky, and that:

  • 1 in 3 believe finding a penny brings good luck, or they benefit from being at the right place/ right time,

  • 1 in 5 believe knocking on wood,

  • and 1 in 5 avoid walking under a ladder; is this nuts?

Sometimes stuff just happens but honest answer, it’s true that the science of luck is to think positive and it is proven that optimistic people do have better luck, especially in dating.

What’s more, 80% of a happy relationship is choosing the right person in the first place, but trust me; with the right algorithm and the right amount of optimism there’s more than a chance, that you too will find love.

 

First of all….How is it already September!?!?!?

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Nothing like a little late summer eligible bachelor pick me up. This early 30’s, tall, good looking, athletic guy is just what a girl needs to reset her compass for finding love this fall. I can share more details and a potential to meet him, you just have to contact me!

I can’t wait to start sharing more eligible singles with you again……until then……Happy Labour Day Long Weekend!!!

 

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If you lived in Vancouver circa 1887 you would have found “Bachelors Hall”. A float home full of eligible bachelors! This wouldn’t be complete without….. fast forwarding to 1993 and mentioning the film Sleepless in Seattle. A more romanticized take on LOVE on a Float Home.

Summer Dating tip: Who knew Float Homes could be the new place to FIND LOVE for 2016?

“You can’t control the wind but you can adjust your sails”

Ryan lochte

We all have our fairshare of bad dates! Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte recently speaks out about his not so winning date- calling her a “dud”.

Our take: the worst feedback is NO feedback.

It didnt work out- at least he was honest! What do you think?

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/ryan-lochte-describes-his-worst-tinder-date-ever-w431366

 

“Know when to bring in the professionals” say my friends at Blush Vancouver. Their Zest column explored with me in a recent article, My Quest to find Love for those that seek it!

http://blushvancouver.com/zest-jane-carstens/

screen shot Zest article

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Snogging, smooching, necking—whatever you call it, everyone’s doing it. Or are they? 10% of the world don’t partake in kissing at all!

Read here for a brief history of Kissing across Cultures

read here