“She’s the right person, the trade offs are worth it!”

Just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a great partner all around. Sometimes one has a clear and realistic understanding of love.  One might not.  One might idealize love as the solution to all of their problems.  One might not.

In today’s culture, many of us idealize love and see it as some lofty cure-all for all life’s problems and as a result we pay a price in the process of finding it. Healthy relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions  and that success hinges on deeper more important values.

When I started working with Single Dad CJ in his 40’s, with his quest for a partner, he not only used his heart, but his mind.  Sure, he wanted to find someone who makes his  heart flutter, but he was able to evaluate his dates values, how they treat themselves, how they treat those close to them, their ambitions and moral compass in general.  His theory if you fall in love with someone who is incompatible with you ….well, you’re going to have a bad time.  And he was able to think outside of himself and his own needs and to help care for another person and their needs as well.

Were the trade offs worth it?

“Hell yes, I love her to bits, and we are talking long term plans. I really can’t ask for anything more at this point” .  

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The Difference a Matchmaker can Make!

 

 

“We had a great drink date. She is everything you said she was.  I’m cautiously optimistic, but it was probably one of the best dates that I have ever had”

Outsourcing your love life and dating with intention is becoming more and more mainstream especially as we enter into 2023 on the right note.

While all dating systems aim to pair people up, in matchmaking, it’s more specific.  You are paired with carefully reviewed potential dates with similar interests and hobbies, and ones who have the best shot at developing a romantic relationship with you.

Any experienced Matchmaker can;

  • Reduce the volume of potential dates and focus purely on quality and zero in on someone with the highest potential and be somewhat assured that your dates genuinely are looking for a long-term relationship too.
  • Rigorously screening clients, and questions getting specific as it can get, proves to have greater results.
  • Simply put, we can help you get the date, but it’s up to you how to stay there once you’ve made the connection.

 

 

Do you have a dating experience that you would like to share with us? Go on, then, tell us in the comments section below. 

 

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Santa-Dating Game

 

It’s known to be the perfect stocking stuffer to gift this holiday season.  A bushy beard, twinkly eyes and a belly that shakes like a bowl of jelly, starring the hunkydory sleigh-rider. Not one but six Santa’s that are all very attracted to you.

Which kind of Santa’s could you end up with? Well, there’s Sexy Santa, Secret Santa, Sleepy Santa, Sad Santa, Saintly Santa and the best one of all, Sassy Santa. In addition, it boasts 12 possible endings.

It sounds like the profile list of must-haves for every girl who is single.

 

Do you have a Santa dating experience that you would like to share with us? Go on, then, tell us in the comments section below. 

 

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Take Me Home for the Holidays

 

If you have been dating someone new for a while now, and your relationship is getting serious as the holidays approach–so you ask–they agree–you suddenly PANIC!

Meeting the parents is a nerve-wracking experience for everyone, but it also means your relationship is going great!  While you are thrilled to be in love and share the holidays, its normal to feel hesitant thinking about all the family dynamics, quirks and history shared back at home.

Before you go try to remember:

  • Your family will be thrilled to see you and they are likely also just as excited, nervous, and somewhat cautious.
  • If your family members don’t react to your new love the way you had expected, try to cut them some slack.
  • Ease up on expectations, prep your partner and family as much as you can ahead of time and relax into the season with those you love.

 

Do you have a holiday dating experience that you would like to share with us? Go on, then, tell us in the comments section below. 

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How to Define your Relationship

 

 

 

For some people, using the “boyfriend and girlfriend” titles is a big deal. It can be a significant step in where the relationship is going. Many couples see this a sign of commitment – or at least that they intend to have a long-term relationship.

Some people choose to use the term “lover” when they are in a more relaxed relationship where they are just dating or might be sexually involved. In most long-lasting relationships, the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” will be used.

It’s important to know that all relationships evolve and change over time and may need a revisit.  And its also important to know the difference between the two types of relationships so you know what type of relationship you are truly in.

Do you have a dating experience defining a relationship that you would like to share with us? Go on, then, tell us in the comments section below. 

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Unsolicited Dating Advice

A lot of singles have difficulty navigating their own conflicting views of dating. And there is this age-old dilemma for our friends/family who have life experiences, know us, and want to use it to help us from making mistakes.  But guess again, most singles see the interventions as intrusive and crossing a boundary usually creating uncertainty, doubt, and a disbelief that this is how things should go.

Matchmakers, along with relationship coaches have altruistic intentions.  Instead of telling our clients how to live their dating life, we help them manage the feedback, and ask them how we can help.  This allows our clients to feel safe in their boundaries and empowered to respectfully accept or reject the offer.  Listening and asking questions is more valuable than telling people what to do.

Just this week I had a couple out on a 2nd date and after a week of disbelief how things actually went, just needed a little acknowledgement that things were in fact going well.  They are now going on date #3.

Simply being there, validating, cheering them on, giving them virtually hugs mean more than an instruction manual.

 

 

Do you have an unsolicited dating experience like this that you would like to share with us? Go on, then, tell us in the comments section below. 

 

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What do you Vet in the Dating Process?

 

Too many people see dating as an endgame, in which they must score their goal of finding a partner as fast as possible and getting frustrated in the process.

Have the self-confidence to listen and learn while also having companionship, recreation, and entertainment. Going to dinner, a movie, or even for a walk with a person gives you a window into another person’s view of life, his/her background, and experiences. Too much focus on whether this person is “The One” and how he/she is reacting to you will inevitably keep you single.

Lately, many of the singles I speak to are dating A LOT leaving less than 5% of those dates with any real potential connection and they are more than ready to step up the quality of their dates over the quantity.

Be very choosy.  Love may come, but meanwhile, you can still have a lot of great dates with people who are interesting, fun, or both.

 

 

 

Do you have a dating experience that you would like to share with us? Go on, then, tell us in the comments section below.

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Real People looking for Real Relationships

It’s never been easier to meet someone online but landing a real date in a traditional setting feels like fishing in the Dead Sea; IMPOSSIBLE.  With life online an ever-present reality, MATCHMAKING still is one of the best ways to date.  The best part? It actually works.

So, what gives matchmaking the secret sauce ? It has to do with the in person sign-up process, questions are practical, allowing you to be picky with your preferences based on actual date feedback and we’re not afraid to set up dates for you to meet in person quickly which helps you open up earlier than you normally would. I have been matchmaking for over 20 years, helping  daters spanning all age groups find long-term relationships, not to mention perfecting our strategy over the years and most of our clients are dating someone within six months.

If you really want to meet someone, you need to reach out to us. [email protected] 

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Rethinking Dating

 

The vast array of dating apps has skewed our sense on the real-world of dating by dangling the prospect of another better match, based on a perception of algorithmic decisions,  merely a swipe away. The forced isolation of the pandemic, and the attempts that many people made to work around it, has put an unexpected lens on modern-day intimacy. It’s become a natural part of dating and seeking a partner.  Sound familiar?  What I have noticed from the new clients I meet is that they have had a hard time believing there is someone out there.

 “Just as I have resigned to enjoying my own company and not concerning myself with a need to be partnered, you come along and give me a pat on the back. You sure know how to perk a guy up ;)”….client quote

Relationships take a leap of faith and work.  I know personally how tough it is to allow yourself to be vulnerable this time around. Know you are older and smarter than before. And if you need someone to support and help you give yourself the best chance of finding love, then let’s schedule a time to talk.

If you have a dating experience that you would like to share with us, tell us in the comments section below.

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A Single Father in Love, Again

 

Single parents, Dad, or Mom, navigate “dating” again with some history under their belts.

Kids and some requirements for what’s OK and what they simply won’t ever do again. The rules are very different, and the experience gives them some distinct advantages in terms of recognizing what they don’t want and are willing to wait enthusiastically. But don’t worry, even though the single parents I speak to might have a couple of kids, and a full-time job, they still like to find time to be with someone.

There are never any hard rules, but here are a few basic points single fathers talk about;

  • I don’t want a “date.” I don’t want nice. I want my next relationship to start out with the potential going the long distance. I’ve never been a casual dater. And asking someone out on a date is nerve-wracking. Let’s hook up, wait, I mean, let’s go out on a date.
  • If you have kids, we’ve got an immediate starting point for everything. Trying to talk about your kids with a woman who’s not a mom… Well, they just don’t get it.
  • Games of any kind are an immediate timeout. One thing I will tell a first date is, “You can ask me anything. In fact, I prefer the hard questions. I’m trying to learn the answers myself. I will always try to answer honestly.
  • It may take several months to get in our first four dates, but… Like I said earlier, we shouldn’t be in a hurry.
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