Your Dating Struggles are NOT Your Fault. Here’s Why.

As someone who spent the last 20 years listening to single people sharing some of their biggest dating struggles,  I know better than anyone how much fun the “dating thing” can be.   So many singles blame themselves and feel terrible when they don’t get the results they want.  Plus, dating itself can be loaded up with self-loathing beliefs—this kind of negative mindset will only keep you stuck, yet another year, in a pattern of yo-yo dating.

That being said, the dating thing also comes with some drawbacks.  For example, here are some actual recent dating struggles from our clients that you might be able to relate to;

  • It can be too easy to find people flaws –“I’m getting into my 30’s, I don’t want to date anyone I don’t see a serious future with” . This makes it way too easy to pick holes in people, probably quite unfairly.
  • It can be difficult to read signals— “I have no idea how read whether women are/aren’t interested, so I always just err on the side of caution and assume they aren’t.” Figure it out, apply it and just ask them.
  • Being Single can be nice — “I’m comfortable being single. I got a good thig going right now”. Nice, but then you don’t put too much effort (or any at all) into dating and are often busy and rarely have the time to date.
  • Overthinking can lead to Overreacting – “I overthink, which leads to overreacting, and this causes them to think I’m insane, so they loose interest” . Long story short, you need to CHILL.

If you want to create self-loving, healthy dating habits for 2022 – that are realistic to maintain- then I encourage you to contact us now !  [email protected]

/by

Dating Apps Dictate “the more the merrier” !

With the new variants and current global climate, we’re in a new stage and phase of dating and there is nothing wrong with you if that’s where your mind is going or if love is what you’re seeking.  We are all trying to get by.

Dating experts and matchmakers- myself included- would advise that it is in every singles best interest to meet a potential match in real life as soon as possible, to avoid wasting your time and emotional energy investing in someone you many not have chemistry with.

For starters, now’s your chance to focus on quality over quantity.  Dating apps have always dictated the more the merrier, and many users are often talking to various people at once, continually looking for the next best thing and moving on to another at the first sign of boredom or doubt. In matchmaking and real life, you allow yourself to open up and engage with one person, dive deeper into less superficial conversations, therefore creating stronger connections, to roll with it and see what can come.

Which brings me to my next point if you’re looking for love: the more that you’re not distracted by dating apps usual fast pace, you can see a missed connection for what it is.  Go with what makes you feel comfortable, and just because you know other singles are hopping on the FaceTime/Zoom/phone call/texting bandwagon, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.

/by

It’s Time! 3 Reasons to Date in 2022

 

Dating has always allowed you to hit pause and take a break.  But after living thru the last few years of a pandemic which has challenged dating, many of us realize now it’s about so much more.  Matchmakers like me, who work with singles who say they would seriously date someone, are setting the tone.  Dating can be a good catalyst for good and it can even be regenerative for singles.

Knowing what you want, finding smart ways to cut thru all the noise, meeting others who are more ready to find love, generally is on everyone’s mind and a constant with all the singles I speak with these days.  Luckily, Matchmakers have always taken dating seriously and as the world really starts to open up again, here are my 3 reasons to get dating in 2022.

  1. Intentional dating. Elevate the bar, be clear and date with purpose. Know what the heck you’re looking for and seek alignment early (& often); and don’t waste time meeting other singles characterized by finding pleasure in flings and things than staying committed.

 

  1. The great online migration. Anyone who’s ever tried their hand at online dating apps and fallen into the abyss of badly lit selfies, fib heavy profiles and “one word” messages know exactly what I’m talking about.  Dating apps are designed to keep you on the apps- something most don’t have the time or patience for, and singles are looking for alternatives that can help cut through the noise–willing to give matchmaking a shot.

 

  1. Make dating fun again. As matchmakers our MO is to make dating fun again, make it romantic, and turn back your attention to mingling with singles in real life.   Something that is lacking in today’s app-driven dating scene.

 

/by

4 Things You Need to Remember Before a First Date

As a matchmaker, I can’t guarantee love, but I can help you get a first date.  Over the last 20 years I’ve set up a lot of first dates, so I get it, and I’ve been there for my clients when they get nervous. Its super relatable and it shows that you care about yourself, the other person, and the outcome. Good for you.  So, take a few deep breaths and give yourself a self-talk before the date and remind yourself of these four things and let them calm those anxious butterflies right down.

  1. It’s just a date. You came into this date as just your brilliant self, and it’s ok to walk out by yourself. Its ok to pay your own bill and go home if you’re not feeling it- it leaves space for that right person.
  2. Make a list. It’s always good to know a bit about your date and write down some go-to conversation starters, because writing stuff down actually helps us remember things better just in case you have a brain fart staring into someone’s gorgeous eyes. It happens.
  3. Don’t be a Buzzkill. Don’t talk about your past personal information, or anything depressing. Essentially its a first date, NOT A CONFESSIONAL—and it should be about connection, having fun and maybe a little romance.
  4. Get out of your head. If you can relax and be present your date game is going to level up exponentially.  When in doubt, try not to think about it so much as a “date.”

 

And finally, try to remember- the goal of a first date is simple; try to put a second date on the calendar to continue the conversation.

/by
,

Do you have plans for New Year’s?

 

So here we are the beginning of November. Over the last 20 years that I have been matchmaking,  I don’t know of another four weeks when singles lurch forward into new states of mind quite so dramatically and we are busy.

Hoping to see physical manifestations of our hearts desires feels more urgent on these longer November evenings, and before we shift inevitably into the next year, and if your single you get feelings to find somebody to love.  Consider where we were last year at this time.  Vaccine trials, hospitals overwhelmed, borders still closed, November has always been a month of high emotion, whether it’s longing, loss, or memories of closeness.

But come on. Everyone, at one point in their lives needs encouragement along the way and you are no different; without fail our clients hold on to that believing. They let US focus on it and they are enthusiastic to accept meeting potential local love possibilities.

Though patience is a virtue, there is a limit to everyone’s patience. Where are you ?

Happy New Year…this is the year of ….?

 

/by
,

I Want You to Meet Someone

It’s an everyday occurrence that we come across a great Single that’s too good not to share!

You might be thinking…. dating ?!?!?  Yet you have likely recognized in your clearest moments that there is a greater possibility for finding love, despite your best efforts. And, like so many of the singles I speak to simply struggle with trying to solve it on their own with no results. But don’t worry.  There is no secret, we only introduce you to great people and we do it everyday for our clients.

This is where this great client living in Victoria BC, comes in.  We have been working with her hand-in-hand and know she is truly a gem.  She is a slim, blue-eyed blonde with a combination of good looks, enthusiasm, and is truly an amazing woman. She exudes a fun demeanor and romantic playfulness; is a wine-lover, foodie, loves live music, handholding and living a balanced, relaxed, healthy life. Her workout clothes are next to her little black dress, and her boots are next to her heels and retired early she makes her home in both Alberta with more time living in Victoria.  She’s a history buff, sees personal investment management as a hobby, and is a strong believer in giving back to her communities.

If you are an active, fit, 60+ gent with an easy laid-back vibe who is more about spending time together enjoying the variety of what a VICTORIA  lifestyle has to offer, sharing adventure, travel, and lively conversations; we can’t imagine your life without her in it.

Contact me here:  [email protected]

Don’t worry; there are no fees

 

As seen in The Times Colonist , Victoria BC ,  Saturday October 2, 2021

 

/by
,

Why Dating has always been (very) Political

 

Forget masks, social distancing, or being vaccinated the real issue stopping you meeting the love of your life might just be your politics.

Reporting from the dating frontline, we can attest the politicization of dating is real , especially during an election.  And, according to the clients we work with 50% believe its important to stay informed about politics and that they could not date someone who has strong political opinions that are the opposite of theirs. Good to know!

If politicization means dating results in meaningful moments between people with actual feelings, personal I’m all for it.  However, getting to know someone on a first date should be fun and light-hearted involving banter and flirting and you can learn a lot about someone that doesn’t involve their political identity.

Are you looking for the love of your life and what do you think ?

 

/by

Want to break out of the “HINGE” game?

Whether you’ve been online dating for what feels like forever or are totally new to the search for love, or a date online, there’s no denying “swipe apps” start to feel like a game.

I personally hear from my clients everyday that they don’t like it and its more frustrating than not. Want to break that logic?

We’ve gathered and broken down some of the best matchmaking practices around so you can get back to the dating life and we’ve answered some of your most commonly asked questions to help you find The One with the qualities and values that matter to you most.

You can choose what type of person you’d like to meet.  This allows us to truly tailor our services on an individual basis and filter matches so that you can get started exploring profiles that you can accept or decline to meet,  straight away.  We set up the first date—it’s that simple.

I’m so grateful for a 20-year career that I look forward to each day and clients that give me the drive to constantly exceed their expectations.

Your Love Warrior, Jane xoxo

Contact me [email protected]

 

/by

Help for Empty Nesting and Dating

I have seen over this last month with the singles I speak to, it can be quite difficult as a parent to adjust to a new home and family dynamic after the kids have moved out or on to university living. They have shared feelings of loneliness and restlessness and it’s important to realize that along with this big change come many possibilities, especially if you are SINGLE.  Rather than an end, this time in your life can be a wonderful new beginning.

It isn’t a bad thing; simply put its time for you to spread your wings.

Connecting with others who are looking for love in the same situation and those you may not have had time for in recent years.  You can start with brushing up on your dating skills, get some new photos, create a great bio and put yourself out there to meeting others for fun, friendship, or romance interests that’s totally new to you.

It’s easy and just a matter of putting forth an intentional effort to “date”.

If you need a little help, contact us [email protected] We are always keen to help. No Strings attached.

 

/by

How is Dating Going for You ?

Stop worrying.  Stop panicking.  Nothing good can come out of the expecting the worst.

The way you are feeling, lost and alone, its normal. All singles go thru it.

Thank yourself for how far you have come- it hasn’t been easy.

If you’re not having the best experience and are open to creative possibilities and solutions today, I’d love to support you in your dating journey.

Contact me [email protected]  No Strings attached.

 

 

/by