If Loving a Leftie is wrong, We don’t wanna be Right!

Thursday is International Left-Handers Day and it made me think about a few studies I found.  There is no denying it; southpaws have had a tough run, strange prejudices, taboos, negative mentions in the bible, but despite all that right-handed flack, lefties are a pretty badass group.  After all a relationship is all about balance- so put your right hand out there and grab a leftie to make a match.

Being left or right-handed influences the direction a person tilts their heads when kissing- although it was only the case if they initiated the kiss. Research found that more than two-thirds of “kiss initiators” and “kiss recipients” turned their heads to the right and men accounted for 79% of the kiss initiators.  The head-leaning direction of the kiss initiator also strongly predicted the head-leaning direction of the kiss recipient.   Ok now we’ve figured out the kissing, does right versus left matter in the sack?  Oh you bet.  Over 80% of left-handed people reported they were “extremely satisfied” with their sex lives.  Only 15% of the righties could say the same.

 Either way, lefties have the upper hand— That’s a chance everyone should take!

#internationallefthandersday #lovematters #findlove #love #relationshipgoals #matchmaker #matchmakervictoria #matchmakervancouver #matchmakerforhire #janecarstens #matchmakerverified #irecommend #matchmakertestimonial

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LOCAL LOVE – Listen up YYJ, Victoria Singles do Exist

Are you looking for LOVE in all the right places — Victoria?

I hear it everyday, where are all the singles?  Well listen up YYJ, Victoria Singles do exist—and they are not hard to find. I think we can all agree that, we are more than ready for a fresh start and have something fun to look forward to in the year ahead. 

If you have decided to leave it to luck alone — I decided to turn to the science of it and research some Stats Canada and our own data to find the highest concentrations of single women in Victoria. 

The highest concentration overall is in North Park, Harris Green and Downtown.  Surprising?  Well that is also true for much of South Jubilee, Vic West and Burnside areas. But take a drive out to rural Langford, the odds of finding a single woman much lower.  There, less that two out of ten women are single.

Look at our #locallove beauty featured in Victoria Times Colonist August 7&9, 2020 — Sometimes a guy needs a little help!

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Single Dads can Teach their Kids Healthy Dating Attitudes

Looking for love…… Duh.

Looking for a partner…… Absolutely.

In essence: Dating is life. Parenting is life. Stop making such a big deal out of the former, and the latter becomes far less complicated.

Who would not want their kids to see resilience, and for the single parent it means loving again and not just coping?  Which brings us to the big question of when.  Most of the singles we work with say that the kids do have to be in the mix to see if the relationship is going to work.  For some, who did not want anything too serious they bring their kids around their new potentials as a deterrent – and then watch in awe as they threw themselves in the mix with them.  Instead of sabotaging the relationship with their kids, they just sweetened the deal……something worth exploring.   

One thing we feel strongly about is people who (and if this is you, sorry) say, “Oh we’ll just tell the kids we’re friends hanging out”.  Do not lie, kids know everything.

Our Take, when you are ready, bring around your family. Sure, consider how you do this post Covid, respect your kids’ reactions, talk about it with them.  But do not feel guilty, you are normal, and this is healthy.  That said, there are plenty of good reasons to take your time introducing your kids to your new amore.  Maybe you don’t ever introduce them at all.

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Love after Lockdown? It’s not looking too bad!


We may not have been able to meet our Mr, Ms, or Mx Right physically over the past few months, but we might actually be making deeper connections thanks to lockdown. Today we are seeing that people are taking dating far more seriously, and people have become aware of how precious life and time is, so they are investing their energy in more authentic, connected conversations.

We’re hearing from our clients that there are higher quality chats and there is a significant spike in us setting up social distance walks which are leading to 2nd and 3rd dates.

It will take more than a pandemic to keep us from Love!


#matchmaker #matchmakervancouver #love

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Getting Back Out There: Dating in this new world

You can still meet that right person, even as we emerge slowly from months of confinement. At Matchmaker for Hire, we’re all about connections while remaining dedicated to the health and safety of our clients. We know how difficult and isolating the past weeks have been for many people, but’s now’s not time to meet your match in real life without respecting the rules of physical distancing. Currently, we’re recommending walks and outdoor meetups where proper spacing can be maintained. In addition, we’re actively vetting our clients by asking them if they’re displaying any symptoms for COVID-19 before we set them up on dates. We’re vigilantly monitoring COVID-19 developments and continue to be looking to the Public Health Agency of Canada, HealthLink BC and BC Centre for Disease Control for guidance and recommendations.

 But, until the situation changes, let’s keep the words of Dr. Bonnie Henry top of mind: 

“We’re social people… let’s do it in small, thoughtful ways, and also let’s be really concerned about ourselves and if we are feeling unwell or under the weather, put it off for another day.”

Please be advised that at every single client interaction, we will be asking the following questions:

  • (i) Do you have new/worse cough or shortness of breath?
  • (ii) Are you feeling feverish or have had shakes or chills in the last 24 hours? (> 38 degrees Celsius)?
  • iii) Are you or someone that lives with you currently self-isolating?
  • Has anyone in the home had influenza-like symptoms within the last 14 days?
  • Have you or anyone you’ve come in contact with travelled within the last 14 days? Where?
  • Have you had contact in the last 14 days with a sick person?

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First Dates over Phone, FaceTime & Zoom- Do they work?

In some ways virtual dating is a different ballgame from meeting someone in real life – and in some ways it is not.  As someone who can speak with experience and direct commentary on dating today, it’s a well-known fact that dating at any time is not for the faint of heart or those easily discouraged.  As the old saying goes that you must kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince—and yes it kind of applies, however fortunately for you I know a lot of frogs.  Nevertheless, there is by no means a guarantee for meeting the love of your life, however I can guarantee there is one in the bunch that you might want to take a chance on. 

During this delicate time when finding love has been disrupted, for the most part, my clients have been open to a virtual date after receiving a recommendation of a profile that is a good match.  It’s a chance to make an effort to get to know someone virtually by a pre-face-to-face meeting and there are certain aspects of a relationship potential you might be able to gather before a real in person date in the near future.   However, there are certain aspects of a relationship you are never going to be able to gather from online interactions alone.  In these times we suggest not drawing out the pre-face-to-face meeting for too long and for those who feel comfortable have enjoyed a social distancing walk as the next step with success. 

Here are a few virtual date feedbacks from actual clients:

  • “It was good-nice 30 min conversation. Cold introductions aren’t easy and I am a firm believer in connection. He’s intelligent, thoughtful, engaged.  I will have another conversation with him, probably facetime and see how it goes.”…..Janine
  • “John and I are “seeing” each other and we would like to let you know we enjoy our time together”……Heather
  • “It was good. We talked for a while. She is interesting”…… John

Dating should be fun and it shouldn’t feel like work.  Check in with yourself regularly and if it’s feeling like a chore you’re not enjoying yourself, then take a break and wait for the opportunity for when things return to REAL face-to-face dating.  It will be here before you know it.

#nationalkissofhopeday #findlove #loveisnotcancelled #dating

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ARE YOU DATEABLE?

So, are you ready to hear what he/she said about you personally?

We live in a feedback culture today. Where it is normal in every other part of our lives from Amazon, Google customer ratings and reviews to TripAdvisor yet why is so hard to seek feedback from a date? It’s ironic because dating is perhaps the most important area where feedback can literally change your life.

After 18 years of experience routinely doing “exit” interviews with my clients, please believe me when I tell you that they are more empowering than embarrassing. Especially if you truly want to find the right mate, it can be extremely helpful the bite the bullet and find out what is going right and wrong during and after your dates.  Uncovering the gap between your perceptions and your dates perceptions will enable you to find your mate more quickly and efficiently. 

What I can share with you is that 90% of women I speak to are wrong when they guess why their date didn’t call them back.  Maybe you aren’t creating enough date-makers while causing too many date-breakers.  Why wonder needlessly when you can just get the information you need, directly from the source?

Information is power. What’s the worst that could happen?

If you’ve found this article helpful, have any questions for me or want to share any personal experiences with giving or receiving feedback feel free to leave a comment and contact me [email protected]

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What interesting and uncertain times we are in!

As the matchmaker who’s been setting up dates for my clients, each day this past week, I’ve been a bit more unsure of what the right move is going forward in terms of presenting introductions to you.  As comfortable as one person feels going out for dinner and drinks with someone new in the time of coronavirus, the next person feels differently. My matchmaking colleagues and I have had several recent date cancellations and are brainstorming how our industry must adapt. With over three hundred confirmed cases in Canada now, it seems it may be a matter of time before we see more people quarantining with bars and restaurants in many cities shut down.

Considering your best interest, my observations as to the way singles and the matchmaking industry is reacting, and the ethical obligations I feel as a human being who does not want to contribute to the spread of disease, I present three options to you for best handling the remaining time on your contract:

–Virtual Dating: I can set you up on video dates with people who are interested in getting to know someone virtually. After screening candidates for you on phone or video, I would send recent photos and a profile as usual so you could decide if you’d like to accept the introduction. Your “date” will take place on a virtual medium of your choice, and it will count as an introduction on your contract regardless of whether a “real” date takes place. I will coach both parties on how to make the best impression in this medium.

–Dating Coaching: You can exchange some of your remaining introductions for coaching sessions. If you are interested in using this downtime for self-reflection and self-improvement in terms of your love life, I promise to give you tremendous value!  You will receive unlimited email coaching and once to twice weekly video coaching sessions to help you learn how to “become your own matchmaker”. You will learn not just how to attract a better match on your own-whether on or offline-but how to keep him or her for the long term. I will use feedback from past dates, a thorough assessment of your relationship history, as well as my overall impression of your strengths and weaknesses in terms of attracting a match. Most importantly, it will teach you how to attract/maintain the relationship you desire.

–Hold Time: We will simply put things on hold for a bit until we see how this all pans out.

I will gladly honor and respect your choice, if you know your preference now, please do let me know.

Additionally, it’s a good time to update your profile and photos with us and I’m happy to discuss things further with you this week if you like.

Stay safe and well!

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Why is asking someone out such a difficult thing?

Today is National Promposal Day and prompts the ultimate question “Will you go to prom with me?”

Which recalls a question I get from most all singles I meet, “Why is asking someone out such a difficult thing” and one that gets angst over even for the most confident.   Well, we live in a “dating game society” where people are free to be crappy to each other and its turned courtship into entertainment.  Therefore, we have to accept that some people can be crappy, or at best, acknowledge that people have different ideas about what is crappy behavior and what is good behavior……..but bear in mind that the tiniest few might actually mean well!

So instead of crying because someone won’t ask you out, feel FREE to ask him/her out.

If you do, please let me know, I’d like to congratulate you.

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Midlife Commitment and Dating – CARPe Diem- Joy TVBC

Today love is triumphant.  Marriage is becoming less conventional, less dutiful and less obligatory—but even more important we find that not all people over-50, single again and dating, find themselves end up technically married.  And because for most couples, weddings are no longer obligatory, they must however be extraordinary.

For couples today, marriage has changed from being a rite of passage to a celebration of love and commitment – a sign that two people are ready to stand up in front of friends and family and commit themselves further.  However, marriage should be entered with a cool head and know that weddings join families, not just couples. It can take the already complicated and complicate it more.  And for most people dating with MORE than a few life miles left on the clock, they still idealise marriage but think of relationships as something to go slow and it be undertaken at some point in the future, or perhaps not at all.

Mastering the old-fashioned way of finding love means you are “looking to be matched not bombarded by dates” and there are ways you can embrace old-fashioned dating and still feel empowered in a because ultimately you are calling the shots. While most midlife singles aren’t exactly in a hurry to meet a new partner, they all would like to meet someone for companionship—or more.  And, this new phase of life to begin with a lot of laughs, some fun, some intimacy and definitely, some good food.  

However, I can’t help but also think about how important it is for singles today to really know when it is real love, as opposed to a vision clouded from a fast moving, whirlwind of a romance and emotions that would make anyone swoon.  Now that’s crazy, stupid, love.

WATCH: An encore presentation of the CARPe diem Season 2 opener: Zoomer Weddings – Navigate love and commitment later in life with some insight from those who tied the knot twice.

Join host Carmen RuizyLaza and her guests Marina Adshade (https://economics.ubc.ca/faculty-and-staff/marina-adshade/), Jane Carstens of Matchmaker For Hire, and Darrin Hotte from @New Solution Mediation, & special guests Bert Hick and Jim Doyle, this Friday February 20 at 5:00pm on Joytv BC.

Episode summary video click below

This Monday on CARPe diem:An encore presentation of the CARPe diem Season 2 opener: Zoomer Weddings – Navigate love…

Posted by Joytv BC on Friday, February 14, 2020

Seize YOUR Day!

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