Indifference makes the difference with Dating & Wanting Kids

Whether you are interested or not, Royal Baby madness has gripped which brings up a good question for singles; are you indifferent to having kids? A common answer from a lot of clients when I ask them if they want children is “I’m not against kids, I am indifferent. If my future partner wants kids then I would love to have them.”

For some, it can be a hard time understanding this as having kids is a life-changing event; or the ones stating it , they are just not sure. Of course no one owes anyone an explanation, but when you are dating it can feel like a big deal. There are all sorts of reasons why someone, when on a date, admits to being undecided/open as it creates confusion, but when I ask, the common reason I see most is more the feeling of being rushed or the clock is ticking from someone and that their answer “can go either way” means more….. “NOT RIGHT NOW”.

There are motivations for this ranging from preferring their current lifestyles to prioritizing their careers, and for some it’s a pipe dream, tremendous investment, and that they are not meant to do the parenting thing on their own and want to make sure they have help from a wider village.

As with all dating deal-breakers, there is no benefit before going further into the dating world with a major issue already in place. And it can make all the difference when one rarely mentions it and the others position is inflexible. Its better off if you are looking for someone you can be with long term, for everyone, if you’re up front. Kids are a deal-breaker because you can’t have half a kid!

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