Tag Archive for: datingadvice

Choosing YOUR Matchmaker; What’s Right for You?

OK, now that I have convinced you to outsource your love life, ( https://matchmakerforhire.comonline-dating-vs-matchmaking-the-pros-and-cons/ ) , you’ll find yourself faced with another decision to make. Do you want to work with an independently owned boutique Matchmaker with decades of experience, or a franchised dating service?

There are advantages and disadvantages for both, so the trick is to figure out which works for you. To do this, you need to understand and do some research on the differences between the two and reflect on which is best suited to your personality, strengths, and goals.

Of course, you’re in luck.  Not only do we help our clients take the first step together, all in the comfort of your own home, we love working with clients new to, or disheartened with, the intimidating world of dating.  What may seem like a daunting task ahead of you, we can guide you through the process, introduce you to quality people and make your dating experiences positive, enjoyable, and that turn into 2nd ones!  Yep…… we get pretty excited about it too!

It’s a beautiful thing when a career and passion come together!

From our standpoint…… We are in Love with Love!

Contact us;  Jane Carstens /  [email protected]       Rhonda Ceci /  [email protected]  or call  778-552-3350

 

 Photo credit : Natalia Anje Photography  nataliaanja.com

T-shirt:  Big Love Ball   bigloveball.com/shop-products/ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo credit Natalia Anje

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Love; You win some, You learn some.

“Hey Google, what are the chances of winning the lottery,” and the results should send you running for the hills.  While your chances of getting struck by lightning may be greater than striking it rich in the lotto, people win big at finding LOVE on a fairly regular basis.  Right now, there are countless people celebrating it, cursing it or searching for it. And who can blame them? Love is a many splendored thing.

So, today we are sharing one (of many) of our favourite Love Stories with you.  Our story comes from August 2013 and our Prince Charming grand slam.

“I was happy with my first date but Jane insisted I meet Bert! Jane came to my house on a summer morning in August 2013, and we sat on my sunny deck barefoot and talked about my life for two hours; she met my dog, my kids, and she saw how I lived. I chose Jane because from what I knew about her, and that she would do the work for me and I didn’t need to share my photo and profile with the world, just Jane and her team.  It wasn’t too long after she called with an introduction for me, John and after a first meeting I found him as I thought, to be exactly who I was looking for, until intro #2.  Jane insisted that I meet Bert, I think she knew he was my perfect match, and she was right! Our cocktail date moved onto dinner and we met again the next day…….and forever after that.  Bert proposed to me in Bora Bora, 14 months later and we got married August 2016, exactly 3 years after our first date.  We are a match made in heaven and thanks to Jane she brought me my Prince!”

 

You know the old saying: you win some, you lose some… and then there’s that little-known third category…..as quoted by  Al Gore

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She’s Miles from ORDINARY!

There’s something about her that is is self assured, unpredictability exciting and you will want to meet her.  If you are 60+ Gent, living in Victoria and have a curious mind and lots of gusto contact me — [email protected] or call 778-552-3350

 

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With Einstein as Cupid what could possibly go wrong?

Testimonial: “You sure know me. I can only imagine the demands in matching algorithms…… You must be the Einstein of Love.” He said smiling. That’s what one of our clients recently had to say.

Is there a formula for successful relationships?  You bet! The five-to-one ratio of positive-to-negative emotions suggests there is and the difference in having found “the one” as apposed to “someone” can be:

  • You are so enamored at the beginning that you want to keep conversing forever
  • You find someone who meets 90% of your criteria (having defined this well up front and relating to what you have in common rather than having more positive “opposite” traits).
  • There is a magnetism after the first couple of dates…. coming from both head and heart and not merely lust, though the physical attraction is also there.

Once established well over months where it keeps existing—this magnetism blossoms to where you can’t live without the other person.  Resist the desire for any next steps until 4 seasons have gone by, and you have experienced visitations with her/his friends and family, seen his/her reactions to a large variety of events such as changes in political climate, religious experiences, movies and intellectual pursuits, passions of many kinds, discussions on health, patterns of living, rural or urban style, future plans, desire for travel, views on children, volunteering, helping others—all topics you can bring up…and many more that give a broader perspective about the person. Satisfy your need to know these things to avoid big future controversies.

 

Matchmaker vs. Cupid: Which one do you choose when it comes to finding love?  Would you rather get a visit from the messenger of love or a Matchmaker superhero who can save you from a dating disaster?  

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

 

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Going to a sporting event on a FIRST DATE, Yay or Nay?

If she is a fan of the team, I don’t see why not – however normally I’d see it as a bad move, but all depends on how comfortable she is with it and if she’s excited to go then ……it’s a good move!

With FIRST DATES, there should be 3 components to it.  You need to take some time and create a plan.

Dinner –not a good first date plan.  If you decide 15 min in you have zero in common you are stuck for an hour or more and you’ve giving a message that you have carved the whole evening for someone, you hardly know.  Its like having 2/3 of the date all upfront.  So guys, here we go!

  • The first 1/3, quick easy drink in a bar,
  • and next 1/3 do something fun that is easy and risk free, and it also shows that she thinks that you’ve earned it. (if you are finding conversation awkward at a sporting event, trust me, it wouldn’t be any better at a dinner)
  • and last 1/3, this is reserved for dinner. It makes it easier to have known each other previously and are already comfortable around each other and you’ll always have a bailout conversation topic, because you can just revisit and talk about whatever you did on the first and second dates.

Even if she’s not a big sports fan, she’s sure to enjoy a laid-back evening or afternoon at a minor league ball game.  Amateur teams tend to have more entertainment during the game, which will provide you with tons of conversation starters.  Plus, the drinks and food won’t cost and arm and a leg which is especially good news if things don’t pan out.

 

Thanks to Steve Darling and the Vancouver SportsNet 650 morning team for having me on the air today!

 

 

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Single Women 60+ and the Pitfalls of Questing for Love

Being older than 60, single and looking for romance has never been easy, and for women who typically outnumber single men, its especially challenging.  While the internet makes it easer for women over 60 who didn’t grow up with the “worldwide web” to get outside their social circles for dating and romance, I know from speaking to many singles everyday, it only makes them more vulnerable to deception.

Here’s a couple of examples that some have discovered;

  • People are a little generous (not what they are) about themselves in their profiles.
  • 95% of the men use dating sites to go out and avoid a relationship-no matter what they say!
  • It’s easier to become emotionally intimate with someone quickly, and communication is instant- scammers are very skilled at seducing!

Now, I am not saying that you should be afraid to go online, yes, you will meet some frogs, but with a little cautiousness it does increase the odds — and that’s why we’re not going to end this piece without a happy story.

“I am ready to meet my soul mate. Before we even met she knew what I am looking for in a partner, and that is one of the great advantages, I think with working with Jane”.  He further comments “Despite the 6-1, woman to man ratio on the island, I know she will find the perfect match that compliments for us both” he says.

If you are in your 60’s, living on Vancouver Island contact me  [email protected]  for a personal and confidential interview for a potential to meet my client.

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Looking Forward to Your Next First Kiss ?

I know for a fact that one of the most incredibly important parts in our mate selection process is the first kiss.  The first kiss—well it can only happen once and it is the set up for the relationship that will follow.

As I write this, I hesitated because I realized that over 60 % of my clients coming out of long term relationships, haven’t had a first kiss in many years.  Many have stated they couldn’t remember what it felt like or how it made them feel because their memory was from so long ago.

So Pucker up!  Being single again has its rewards—the anticipation of looking forward to your next first kiss and the excitement that comes with it.

Read on for all the juicy (but not slobbery) scientific details……. http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/your-brain-first-kiss

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Dating a Single Mom

 

 

 

 

FACT: A lone-parent is a man or woman who is single, separated, divorced, … Lone-mothers make up 13% of Canadian families, while lone-fathers make up 3%. which means that the odds are pretty good that at least some of them are looking for love.

If dating as a single person can be a messy combination of fun and frustrating, dating as a single mom poses its own unique challenges. We asked some of our brutally honest single mom clients to tell us the truth about what they want prospective dates to know before they try to hook up with them. From rules about sleepovers, and meeting the kids, they didn’t hold anything back!

“Anyone who wants to date me needs to know that he is always going to be my second, maybe third, priority. My kids come first, and my job is a close second since I have to support my kids. I want to be in a relationship, but not if it messes things up for my kids.” —

“I don’t care how romantic our date was, you are NOT getting invited home. I don’t have sex with someone who I’m not married or engaged to under the same roof as my kid. Period. I don’t want her to be hearing or seeing anything she shouldn’t.” –-

“My kid is pretty great, but you don’t get to meet him unless you are around for the long haul. If you ask to meet him and I say ‘no’, that means I’m not sure about you yet.” —

“If you are the type to get jealous that I’m still friendly with an ex, don’t waste your time with me. My ex is my kid’s dad and we’ll always be in contact, so you had better be able to handle that.” —

“My last boyfriend complained that I wasn’t spontaneous enough.  I have a 2-year-old! I can’t run off for a long weekend trip at the drop of a hat.”

“I think the biggest difference between dating before I had a kid and dating now is that I have no patience for drama or game playing. I used to spend months wondering if someone was right for me and playing all the games. Now I just don’t have the time or energy for that. It is either working or not. If it isn’t working, I’m quicker to pull the plug now than I was before.” —

“Believe it or not, I’m not looking for a father for my kid. I’m looking for a partner for me. If we work, then we can talk about whether you’ll be a part of my kid’s life. He has a dad and it isn’t you.” –

“A guy who is going to date a single mom can’t be needy. Don’t expect to always have me answer every call or text. I’m juggling tons of stuff and trying to date too. I’m doing the best I can.” –

“Please be all the way divorced or out of your prior relationship before you call me, especially if you also have kids. I don’t need drama! Dating with kids involved is hard enough without having fresh divorce issues to deal with.” —

“I have a two-strike rule for last-minute cancellations. Getting a babysitter is work and expensive! I can’t handle flakes at this stage of my life. I already have too many plates spinning.” —

“This should be obvious, but don’t date me if you don’t like kids. Ideally, if this goes well, you’d be in my kid’s life on some level, so even if you think I’m great, don’t ask me out if you aren’t okay with the thought of sharing your life with a kid someday.” –

 

Happy Mothers Day to all the Single Moms !

 

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Birthday Dating

Birthdays! We all have them, most are hopefully happy- though some not, and we all enjoy celebrating birthdays with friends and family (mostly).

I recently celebrated a birthday.  Which one, I won’t tell, but it was a birthday! I don’t feel any older, but now its just another day where I have to remember to change the digit in my response when people ask how old I am.  But enough about my birthday…..it’s okay you didn’t send gifts. I’m over it Really! 🙂

So, what happens when you have a birthday during a date? Or someone has a birthday during the period of time you had just started dating?  Hmm…awkward…to celebrate such a personal occasion with someone you hardly know and it can seem more like walking up to some random friend-of-a-friend from Facebook and try to be part of their birthday party.

While it may seem like a strange question for some, it has happened several times for many with differing results.  Firstly, should you acknowledge the occurrence at all? If you didn’t have a clue and only found out that saves you from this quandary.  But if you DO know about your date’s birthday it would be a bit impolite not to recognize the occasion at all.

When in doubt, its invaluable to check. Most online profiles these days have birthdays’ there for anyone to see or you can flash you licence and obnoxiously point out your date of birth or better yet,  your date could have also mentioned the fact of their approaching birthday in passing. But the proper thing to do if it is your birthday is just tell your date (in a subtle way) and find it appropriate to recognize the birthday somehow.

Any one else have any interesting birthday related dating experiences?

 

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Dating a Firefighter


Over the years in Matchmaking, I’ve had many women clients that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter; they wanted to date a fireman. While there are no shortages of eligible firefighters, I’m going to try to give you a few tips on how it can work.

  • For the vast majority of them, the job will understandably be their first love
  • They are boys, and the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will be at first dating him and his boys. Nothing worse than creating havoc in the team!
  • Don’t think you can change or turn him into your dream guy. These amazing men live in a world you cannot imagine, not just the “doing it” part but the whole lifestyle of a firefighter.
  • The easiest conversation is to have him talk about himself. Why is he a firefighter? What is the best part about the job? Has he ever been scared at a big call? Another warning don’t go deep here last thing you want to do trigger a memory.
  • Know that at some point you will be run by his crew, his buddies for a group evaluation. The best thing you can hope for is an invitation to visit the station and would love to see where he works, or ask if you might bring some cookies by the station.

If he jumps at the suggestion and offers a good time to do that you’re in! Firefighters are gentlemen and will always treat a lady with respect, remember this is not a good environment for wall flowers, but know that he will always take any chance to step in and rescue you!
This Saturday April 1, I am proud and honored to attend The Surrey Firefighters’ Society – Ignite a Dream Event with some very dear Firefighter friends in White Rock. The event aims to provide underprivileged children of Surrey with Educational Opportunities.  Get a ticket here and support a great cause!  https://surreyfirefighters.com/ignite/

And oh yes, I will be scouting!

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