Tag Archive for: #findlove

Everyone Makes Mistakes in Dating

 

How many of you can honestly say they haven’t made a few mistakes when they meet someone new?  Sometimes good people make bad choices.  It doesn’t mean they are bad….it means they are human. You learn from them and go on because a mistake is one thing. A pattern is another.

There are loads of reasons why getting to a 2nd date might not work out. Perhaps you’re just plain old incompatible, or you’re not sure how to avoid falling foul of these oh-so-frequent behaviours we hear from the 1st dates we set up with our clients.

  • Idealizing your date-Do you actually like them, or are you projecting some dreamed-up version of a perfect match? Putting someone on a pedestal is setting them up for failure. No one can live up to an imagined list.
  • Following your Hormones not your heart–We get it-it’s been a long few years of lockdown and you’re feeling frisky, but don’t dive into intimacy too quickly. Hormones and attachment patterns get us in hook, line, and sinker, almost instantly- whether this is a suitable person or not.
  • Failing to see their flaws-This ties in with the first 2 pitfalls- Ask yourself: are you seeing this person through rose-tinted, loved-up glasses? It’s all too easy to fail to check out ( we don’t mean their social media ) if the person is who they say they are and what they want.

We all learn from our ‘mistakes”, sometimes a very painful lesson, especially in dating.

But others judging is their “mistake”.

Do you have a story to share?

 

#findlove  #datingadvice #datingtips #datingcoach #relationshipadvice #okcupid #dating101 #stayconnected #singlestatus #onlinedating #matchmaking #matchmakerforhire #janecarstens  #matchmakervancouver #vancouvermatchmaker

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Single Dad’s ; Spring Break Alert

While Covid has been a good excuse for not meeting up with just anyone, and he’s burnt out from dating apps , yet he’s never down in the dumps because he doesn’t have a partner. He would just love to meet someone who’s active and outdoorsy, and actually interested in him.

He is an amazing single Dad, 6’ in his early 40’s, that is trying to navigate his world running a niche business in Western Canada and raising his boys. For him saving time this March Break for more fun things like snowboarding, hiking, boating, eating out and spontaneous road trips or jumping on a plane almost anywhere – so he’s hired us while he enjoys spring break. 

 If you are open to meeting a real old fashioned valued guy and you’re in your 30’s message us to learn more and a chance to meet him. (In an exclusive way, and at no cost to you) or pass it on to your best girlfriends.

[email protected]

 

 

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Yes, it’s “Spring Break (up)” Season, Baby.

There’s really no great time to do it, unfortunately, one of those break up periods is upon us.  Statistics put together from Facebook data, show 2 big spikes.  One right after Valentine’s Day, but the sharpest increase by far happen in the weeks that lead up to spring break (which officially starts this week). While a March heartbreak on one hand makes sense after cuffing season, there obviously has to be an uncuffing period.

We have seen an uptick in breakups around March and have some theories.  In Spring, we all get this natural boost, and we’re feeling more energetic overall.  This also means we’re more aware of our partner’s more annoying patterns—like when its rainy and dark in winter—we aren’t totally checked in to what’s going on in our lives, including who we are dating.  But as the days get longer, people feel more motivated to tune in and make changes.  Sometimes that means kicking their lover to the curb and getting rid of the person who’s holding you back. However, if you’re the person being broken up with, that isn’t super fun. But in some ways, it’s a good time because singles who have been hibernating throughout the winter are coming out and want to go out and have fun, laughter, and experience new things.

So instead of sobbing into the sleeve of your puffer coat, you can use this time to revaluate – be open and optimistic while dreaming of good weather on a rooftop on a date with a cocktail in hand.

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Be Aware of Fantasy Relationships

Like all people, we are deserving of love and connection. Here are a couple things to keep in mind for anyone wanting to avoid  the so-called, real life  “Tinder Swindler” while navigating the world in today’s dating.

Experiences have taught me that practiced too early on (before trust and a foundation have been established), excessive written contact between a potential partner can fuel the engine of fantasy relationships.  We often fill in the missing spaces and unknowns with our own details. This can lead to feeling letdown when the in-person counterpart fails to match up to whatever idealized version our mind has concocted.  For instance, in writing and on the phone, maybe you bonded over what you thought was a shared passion for dogs.  But then, in person, it becomes apparent that their interest is only passing and half-hearted and that they only volunteered at a shelter once.

It’s human nature to be more likely to think the best about someone and mold them into who we want them to be rather than see them for who they really are.  Do yourself a favour and know that it’s basically a fantasy story that can only backfire for us down  the road.

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There’s ONE MONTH till Valentines Day!

Ok, you have been warned; there are no excuses. Just when you were resting on your laurels making it thru the holidays being single; boom it will be Valentines Day! Not that we want to politicize Valentine’s Day, as we are still in a pandemic and not supposed to be touching people, but call it what you will, Valentines’ Day is our favourite holiday.

If you are single , I promise you , you are not alone; you’re just not seeing them. As I am so often reminding people, there are many, many singles thinking the same thing you are and lacking enthusiasm.  However, there is no need to veto Valentine’s Day this year. Because we are singing a different tune and  believe now is a perfect time to kick off your love campaign.

Todays, matchmaking pools are thriving.  For starters, we elevate the bar for our clients with an alternative that can help cut through the noise.  And there is an abundance of healthy and active people interested in meeting someone for a relationship.

Ever consider hiring someone to help you find love ?  Contact me [email protected] or call 778-552-3350

I hope to hear from you.

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A Dating Challenge to KICK OFF 2022

For most singles, the New Year is the most proactive season to get out and find love. We all have rituals round many things in our life, and I myself will recommit to conscious eating and more exercise.  This being a seemingly endless season of difficulty and uncertainty for everyone—and yet, as is always the case, singles have never had more of a desire to find love.

So, to mark the passing of 2021 and to ring in 2022, I’m sending you this New Year’s inspired reminder, along with a dating challenge.  Start with an inventory of  lists and in place of resolutions, desire your way into a New Year of dating consciously.

Your challenge:

  1. What parts of dating in the last year worked for you, big or small ?
  2. What did last years dating euphoria leave you yearning for ?
  3. What’s behind you dating anxiety from the most mundane to the dreaded?
  4. What safe dating resources and practices saw you thru that you can rely on in 2022 ?
  5. What would a version of your “wildest dream” date look like, no matter how unrealistic ?

 

Leave a comment

 

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Do you have plans for New Year’s?

 

So here we are the beginning of November. Over the last 20 years that I have been matchmaking,  I don’t know of another four weeks when singles lurch forward into new states of mind quite so dramatically and we are busy.

Hoping to see physical manifestations of our hearts desires feels more urgent on these longer November evenings, and before we shift inevitably into the next year, and if your single you get feelings to find somebody to love.  Consider where we were last year at this time.  Vaccine trials, hospitals overwhelmed, borders still closed, November has always been a month of high emotion, whether it’s longing, loss, or memories of closeness.

But come on. Everyone, at one point in their lives needs encouragement along the way and you are no different; without fail our clients hold on to that believing. They let US focus on it and they are enthusiastic to accept meeting potential local love possibilities.

Though patience is a virtue, there is a limit to everyone’s patience. Where are you ?

Happy New Year…this is the year of ….?

 

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I Want You to Meet Someone

It’s an everyday occurrence that we come across a great Single that’s too good not to share!

You might be thinking…. dating ?!?!?  Yet you have likely recognized in your clearest moments that there is a greater possibility for finding love, despite your best efforts. And, like so many of the singles I speak to simply struggle with trying to solve it on their own with no results. But don’t worry.  There is no secret, we only introduce you to great people and we do it everyday for our clients.

This is where this great client living in Victoria BC, comes in.  We have been working with her hand-in-hand and know she is truly a gem.  She is a slim, blue-eyed blonde with a combination of good looks, enthusiasm, and is truly an amazing woman. She exudes a fun demeanor and romantic playfulness; is a wine-lover, foodie, loves live music, handholding and living a balanced, relaxed, healthy life. Her workout clothes are next to her little black dress, and her boots are next to her heels and retired early she makes her home in both Alberta with more time living in Victoria.  She’s a history buff, sees personal investment management as a hobby, and is a strong believer in giving back to her communities.

If you are an active, fit, 60+ gent with an easy laid-back vibe who is more about spending time together enjoying the variety of what a VICTORIA  lifestyle has to offer, sharing adventure, travel, and lively conversations; we can’t imagine your life without her in it.

Contact me here:  [email protected]

Don’t worry; there are no fees

 

As seen in The Times Colonist , Victoria BC ,  Saturday October 2, 2021

 

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Why Dating has always been (very) Political

 

Forget masks, social distancing, or being vaccinated the real issue stopping you meeting the love of your life might just be your politics.

Reporting from the dating frontline, we can attest the politicization of dating is real , especially during an election.  And, according to the clients we work with 50% believe its important to stay informed about politics and that they could not date someone who has strong political opinions that are the opposite of theirs. Good to know!

If politicization means dating results in meaningful moments between people with actual feelings, personal I’m all for it.  However, getting to know someone on a first date should be fun and light-hearted involving banter and flirting and you can learn a lot about someone that doesn’t involve their political identity.

Are you looking for the love of your life and what do you think ?

 

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Help for Empty Nesting and Dating

I have seen over this last month with the singles I speak to, it can be quite difficult as a parent to adjust to a new home and family dynamic after the kids have moved out or on to university living. They have shared feelings of loneliness and restlessness and it’s important to realize that along with this big change come many possibilities, especially if you are SINGLE.  Rather than an end, this time in your life can be a wonderful new beginning.

It isn’t a bad thing; simply put its time for you to spread your wings.

Connecting with others who are looking for love in the same situation and those you may not have had time for in recent years.  You can start with brushing up on your dating skills, get some new photos, create a great bio and put yourself out there to meeting others for fun, friendship, or romance interests that’s totally new to you.

It’s easy and just a matter of putting forth an intentional effort to “date”.

If you need a little help, contact us [email protected] We are always keen to help. No Strings attached.

 

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