Tag Archive for: love

Dating; Step Outside the “Border”

We have all heard the stories.  First dates costing more than $2000 after spending months of online back and forth messaging, hours of late-night phone calls, and then finally booking a flight and deciding to meet.  Such long-distance romances use to grow out of fateful encounters on holidays, or perhaps far-flung business meetings but today a growing number of cross-border courtships, some owed to an instant message across time zones, is becoming not about what to wear on your date— it’s what to pack!

Statistics show that 52% of Canadian on-line daters have e-mailed someone out of country in the past 30 days.  I have also seen a spike in Matchmaking clients open to long-distance dating; after starting out searching within five miles of their postal code and as they get more comfortable they stop limiting themselves so much and more open to step outside the “border”.

This city’s only so big, and when the girl next door is no longer next door, its nice to open up the possibilities for my clients by working with other accredited “Cupids” from other cities.  This summer I’ve relied on connections with fellow cupids from Seattle, San Fran, San Diego, New York, London UK and of course continue working with my fellow Canadian ones all the way east to Toronto with some great success.

That’s certainly the case for our affiliate Matchmaker friend Ali Migliore of Simply Matchmaking in Seattle.  “There is definitely an infinite number of single people here open to dates from other cities and this summer, I knew I had to connect with Jane about an amazing client I had in Seattle who was open to expanding her search to the Vancouver area.  By us both knowing our clients so well, we were able to come up with a great match and our clients met and both said it was the best match yet! Looking forward to dozens of more potential romances happening with the help of our cross-border cupids at Matchmaker for Hire.”

Of course, expectations are always heightened when a plane fare is actually involved and its easy to feel cheated if the romance doesn’t work out (this kind of dating isn’t for the faint of wallet) – plus there’s added pressure if it does.  But for some, however the distance is a bonus and that not being around someone all the time can be ok if you are just as busy as they are.

So, if your tolerance to being uprooted is increased, let your Matchmaker know.

 

Jane Carstens –Matchmaker for Hire- Western Cda                   

 Ali Migliore – Simply Matchmaking – Seattle

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What your Favorite Thanksgiving Dish says about your Dating Style

Bonding with your loved ones over the holiday weekend is the stuff memories are made of, but if you want to take it to the next level invite a special someone to join in.  There will be more people to share special times with, take some of the pressure off you, and you can peg your person’s type based on their favorite holiday eats so you know exactly what sort of relationship you’re in for before you go for seconds.

Here’s what can you deduce from their favorite dish?

  1. Turkey: White meat- Traditionalist who falls asleep after sex. Dark meat-thinks they are edgy, but still a traditionalist who falls asleep after sex.  Turducken-Congrats you are dating a crazy person. This is going to be fun while it lasts, though!
  2. Mashed Potatoes: lovable, if a little boring and also lumpy. Probably loves to cuddle.
  3. Salad: Will probably make you run a marathon for your anniversary.
  4. Bread: Possibly a little flaky, but easily delighted. You could do worse.
  5. Gravy: Probably a sloppy kisser.
  6. Pie: Pumpkin-this person is more likely a romantic, who loves the pomp of the holidays (probably loves Valentine’s day too). Pecan-This person is not fooling around if it’s dessert it’s going to be a butter, sugary haven of one. Probably wants to have sex all the time.

 

Well, what’s your favorite…and what are you in for?

 

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Altogether Lovely – MEET Maria !

Meet Maria; She enjoys the freedom to meet her friends in the middle of the day, take Monday’s off and lives a great life in James Bay, Victoria. 

Because she believes so strongly that she needed a unique approach to find her soul mate, Maria was reluctant to try online.  Afraid she’d “sound desperate” and she didn’t want to sound like every other single person out there.  At the same time, it was difficult to find the one. Something had to change.

For her, Matchmaking was both authentic and compelling to finding the right one.

So here you go,  Meet Maria!  If you are a 60+ gent living on Vancouver Island  message me to find out more [email protected]

As seen in the Victoria Times Colonist – Sunday September 16th, 2018

 

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The Labour of LOVE

If it wasn’t for love, I’d be out of business.  Whether through disappointment, pain, betrayal, abandonment or the ongoing struggle to keep it alive, LOVE fuels every text, email, and phone call to my mailbox.

You might imagine that such a job, exposed daily to the devastated landscape of our broken dreams, would turn a person to cynicism or agonising thoughts.  Instead my client’s anguishes offer me comfort: access to the intimate detail of other’s lives consistently proves that our greatest motivator what we’re consumed by down the decades, isn’t money, success, power or even plain survival, but finding a safe place where we feel protected by the embrace of those we love.

Now I am not exposed much to the glorious beginnings of any relationship, the days full of giddy excitement, heart palpitations and the hope.  My business is at the back end of that story, digging about in its wake; failed love and all the many ways that love betrays our optimism.

In love’s aftermath that you witness the immense fragility – whether a bereaved parent or a broken-hearted lover – and understand that we are shaped and formed, built and broken by our desire to be connected to each other in meaningful ways.

Personally, I’ve always been as confused about love as anyone – probably more so.  I know matchmaking clients for 16 years has in some ways caught me up to where some peoples understanding was already!  And I’m only partly joking about that.  Overall, the stories have made me feel grateful about what I have and make me want to aspire to do better.

Jane Carstens

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Summer Flings — they don’t last!

 

It’s that summer loving that can be a blast….so perhaps it’s no real surprise that, according to Facebook, most users change their status to “Single” to mingle during the summer months.

Some say it was great while it lasted, partly because the season lent itself to tons of activities, weekends filled with weddings, barbecues, rooftop cocktail parties, or the first and last time you’ve tried to have sex on the beach! All are more opportunities as a result to meet more ‘friend of a friend’ people and date them.  Summer relationships typically do cool off in the fall, but you can’t blame the season.

My advice now that fall is approaching is to pay attention to your standards rather than just being happy you’ve met someone to go out with!

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Isnt She Lovely

As seen in the Comox Valley Record – July 2018

Contact me for more information [email protected] 

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Awkward Sex Talk and Dating – Brace yourself, this is uncomfortable!

It’s always exciting to start a new relationship, but we often forget about the ridiculously awkward parts that accompany that just-started-dating period. So, if you recently started seeing someone new, you might want to prepare yourself for these uncomfortable moments that you’re bound to encounter and it just might be on the first date. But hey, love is worth it, right?

Let’s be honest, first dates, while exciting can also be downright terrifying.  We either freeze under pressure, awkward silences abound or worse, its full of sexual tension with flirtatious exchanges. You should however use this time together to playfully grill each other — while, you know, throwing in some flirting for good measure. Like that scene in (movie you’ve both seen) where you end with “did you ever do things like that?” Risqué questions wrapped in an anecdote wrapped in a flirt.  Makes for fun conversation fodder and a way to get to know someone beyond dinner.  Of course, if you are ever in a moment where the talk seems weird, gross and very uncomfortable, whether knowingly or unintentionally, let me be very clear, there is no excuse for this kind of behavior and make it clear right away you are no longer interested.

Our motto is “always be prepared” and remember that uncomfortable feelings and difficult experience are all part of dating.

 

#whenharrymetsally

#Illhavewhatsheshaving

 

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Are you a Beach or Mountain Person?

Do you relish the view of the sea or is the vista of the mountains your out-and-out favorite?  Don’t be surprised if your potential partner just doesn’t appreciate the same view –does that makes some of you let out a big sigh when it comes to dating?  According to research and our own experience of matching couples for 16 years people should consider personalities and lifestyles more closely when choosing a partner.

Let’s see what a mountain view choice can say about your personality.

  • People who love living in the mountains are said to be more prone to thinking. (Did you know that if you love this instead of beaches, you would be in the same personality category as best-selling author J.K. Rowling?)
  • People who like the mountains tend to be self-fulfilling but that doesn’t mean that they are a loner. (If you love living in the mountains, you might enjoy simple and quiet things like yoga on the veranda or simply lounging by the pool with a really good book)
  • Someone who prefers living in the mountains than staying near the beach would also prefer having a quiet drink at home with a partner instead of going to a loud bar.
  • Those who prefer mountain views are also said to enjoy things like: A long stretch of weekend time with no official plans, writing and shopping.
  • The last resort for singles living in the mountains is to move to a more metropolitan area—where dating is a different thing entirely!!!

There is no evidence that living in the mountains makes people prefer their own company and it equally doesn’t mean that they like being alone either. So, if you tend to like the mountains and the greens and spending quality time together then I am going to end this piece with a possibility!  If you are a single woman in her 50’s contact me [email protected] for a personal and confidential interview to meet this client.  ***As seen in the North Shore News, Sunday November 26, 2017.

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Single Women 60+ and the Pitfalls of Questing for Love

Being older than 60, single and looking for romance has never been easy, and for women who typically outnumber single men, its especially challenging.  While the internet makes it easer for women over 60 who didn’t grow up with the “worldwide web” to get outside their social circles for dating and romance, I know from speaking to many singles everyday, it only makes them more vulnerable to deception.

Here’s a couple of examples that some have discovered;

  • People are a little generous (not what they are) about themselves in their profiles.
  • 95% of the men use dating sites to go out and avoid a relationship-no matter what they say!
  • It’s easier to become emotionally intimate with someone quickly, and communication is instant- scammers are very skilled at seducing!

Now, I am not saying that you should be afraid to go online, yes, you will meet some frogs, but with a little cautiousness it does increase the odds — and that’s why we’re not going to end this piece without a happy story.

“I am ready to meet my soul mate. Before we even met she knew what I am looking for in a partner, and that is one of the great advantages, I think with working with Jane”.  He further comments “Despite the 6-1, woman to man ratio on the island, I know she will find the perfect match that compliments for us both” he says.

If you are in your 60’s, living on Vancouver Island contact me  [email protected]  for a personal and confidential interview for a potential to meet my client.

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Ruff Love !

Over half of people in B.C. love their dog more than their partner and all of them say they would consider NOT dating someone they suspected their dog didn’t like. Sound familiar?

Here are a few considerations to determine if your “dog person” considers their pooch more than a pet:

  1. They admit to shedding a tear when they must leave their dog at home at night
  2. They share more pictures of their dog on social media than of their family
  3. They brought their pet on a date (I know a lot guilty of that one)
  4. They make up songs to sing to their pet like they’re auditioning for American Idol!

No matter how you look at it, dogs are extremely common in BC and one third of the population has a least one dog. I must say……. I am guilty as charged!!!!

Ever feel like you love your dog more than your date? Gone to great lengths to keep your pet happy? Send us a message with your experience!

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