Tag Archive for: Matchmaking

Dating a Firefighter


Over the years in Matchmaking, I’ve had many women clients that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter; they wanted to date a fireman. While there are no shortages of eligible firefighters, I’m going to try to give you a few tips on how it can work.

  • For the vast majority of them, the job will understandably be their first love
  • They are boys, and the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will be at first dating him and his boys. Nothing worse than creating havoc in the team!
  • Don’t think you can change or turn him into your dream guy. These amazing men live in a world you cannot imagine, not just the “doing it” part but the whole lifestyle of a firefighter.
  • The easiest conversation is to have him talk about himself. Why is he a firefighter? What is the best part about the job? Has he ever been scared at a big call? Another warning don’t go deep here last thing you want to do trigger a memory.
  • Know that at some point you will be run by his crew, his buddies for a group evaluation. The best thing you can hope for is an invitation to visit the station and would love to see where he works, or ask if you might bring some cookies by the station.

If he jumps at the suggestion and offers a good time to do that you’re in! Firefighters are gentlemen and will always treat a lady with respect, remember this is not a good environment for wall flowers, but know that he will always take any chance to step in and rescue you!
This Saturday April 1, I am proud and honored to attend The Surrey Firefighters’ Society – Ignite a Dream Event with some very dear Firefighter friends in White Rock. The event aims to provide underprivileged children of Surrey with Educational Opportunities.  Get a ticket here and support a great cause!  https://surreyfirefighters.com/ignite/

And oh yes, I will be scouting!

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What Real love looks like (Part 2 con’t)

In this conclusion of a two-part series and when we left off in Part 1, we were just getting into the brass tacks of what real love looks like.

Today, we’re going to finish off the balance of the qualities of what real love looks like but I want to serve up a warning; If you haven’t read Part 1 of this series (https://matchmakerforhire.comwhat-real-love-looks-like-part-one-of-a-two-part-post/ ), you need to do that first. The complete picture always makes better sense.  Let’s dive in….

 

 

 

 

Companionship-  Is it Love or Companionship? It sure helps to have *some* common interests and often when people first fall in love, they bond over that shared love of certain activities and mutual interests. Even if they are different from yours, you can start trying them, showing interest in them, asking to share your partner in doing them. If the other party really interested in you, he/she will automatically show an equal interest in your hobbies and interests.  Here begins the companionship! The way you listen also tells of the way you care for the other party. You are listening not out of an interest in the subject itself but out of concern for the other party.  If we all apply it, I guarantee our dating experiences will be completely different.

Respect –In relationships, respect may be even more crucial than love.  It is useful, I think, to compare and contrast parent-child relationships with partner to partner relationships.  In both of these, respect is absolutely essential for it to work. When a love interest expresses an idea, or asks a question, take it seriously and learn to let go of unsolicited advice. Listen up! Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally.

Openness – Is openness important in your relationships? I mean, being open with your partner 100% of the time.  No secrets, no lies, nothing. In my personal opinion, everyone is entitled to have something to keep for themselves.  And I don’t think the most intimate, private thoughts are necessary to share unless they’re relevant to your partner or your relationship. There are certain things you share, other thoughts you don’t.  So let me ask, why do most of us babble out every thought, every little thing they do and everything anyone says to them? How boring! That’s the kind of stuff you keep for Facebook! I don’t think that a one-size-fits all rule like “always be open” makes much sense. Building a relationship and growing trust, while each of you are growing individually, requires more than simplistic slogans.

 

“Real love may seem less exciting than our shiny fantasies, but it is a million times more worthwhile” 

 

 

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What Real Love looks like?— (Part one of a two-part post)

Throughout our lives, we compile a picture of what we think real love should look like. Often this process begins early, as little kids listening to fairy tales envisioning our very own Cinderella and Prince Charming.  As we grow older, we often imagine finding a soul-mate, that perfect person who we were destined to spend our lives with—– we set out looking for our missing piece.

The trouble is that the reality of love is not quite as simple as the picture we create in our heads. Our idea of love often leads us to choose romantic partners for the wrong reasons. The romantic, rom/com idea of “You complete me” has potentially negative implications by filling in the gaps we see in ourselves, we make assumptions and try to find a partner to fill in our self-perceived shortfalls.

Coming from a 16-year career in working with thousands of single men and women with finding love relationships, this two-part blog post will share a list of the top 5 qualities that my clients say, for them, work towards a truly loving relationship.

 

Honesty — Many believe that “Honesty is the best policy. Others say, “Discretion is the better part of valor.” Of course, being truthful is important. But are their times when you are better off not answering a new romantic partner’s questions or even, not telling the truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth…so help you God)?  After all, during the early stages of a new relationship, it’s what you don’t say, that can allow a relationship to grow and develop unencumbered by too much information.  I’m not advocating being untruthful or lying but rather I’m suggesting that good timing and discretion should be a part of being honest in a new relationship and replies such as “that’s old history, I don’t want to get into it,” or “that’s too personal,” or “that’s from my past, I’d rather it stays buried” are more than appropriate and honest.

Affection – Its’ Complicated! Most of us have kissed someone before and we’ve seen hundreds of movies of other people kissing, and yet, when we come face-to-face with someone we find attractive, our hearts race and our minds are sent reeling. And we stall.  It sounds simple, but why is it so hard?  Generally speaking, if someone practices skiing regularly for two years, they will eventually become quite competent at it. Yet many people spend most of their lives with one romantic failure after another. Why dating and not, say, skiing?  It’s your emotional map — or at least part of it. These are the hang ups and issues that you’ve battled and slowly beaten back with years of active effort. These are the realities that are needed to express openly and seek out the proper partner who can handle them. What are yours?

Coming next week, Part 2 will highlight 3 more qualities and sum up how to work towards a truly loving relationship.  For more tips on finding true love don’t forget to check out our website blog at https://matchmakerforhire.comblog/

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“To kiss or not to kiss”? That is the question this Valentines Day!

 

 

Tip for Valentine’s Day: A good kiss can seal a relationship, and a bad one can kill a new relationship before it’s even got started.

Psychologists report that most people can remember up to 90 % of the details of their first romantic kiss, a memory that is even more powerful than their first sexual encounter!

What is known for sure is that exclusivity starts with the FIRST FRENCH KISS in France?  Its true! Just as you would encourage your child to say please and thank you, hello and goodbye, French parents in France ALL encourage their children to “faire la bise” to friends and family both young and old.

Here, men mostly shake hands with each other with optional back slapping, but men kiss women.  Women kiss women. Everyone kisses children; both sexes hold up their faces to be kissed.  So, this Valentines, when you have known someone for a while and have exchanged handshakes already, one of you can say, “on fait la bise” and the kissing can begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check out some of the most memorable kisses have come out of Hollywood:

Burt Lancaster’s famous kiss in the surf with Deborah Kerr in the 1953 film “From Here to Eternity,” still ranks as the most memorable of all screen kisses, as rated by entertainment writer Erik Lundegaard. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst ranked second in their upside-down kiss in the 2002 movie “Spider-Man,” followed by George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” and Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in the 1990 move “Ghost.”

 

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GAME ON!!! – Lessons the Super Bowl can teach you about Dating!

What do the Patriots & Falcons have in common with your dating game plan and how can you learn and understand lessons from the NFL and relate it to all aspects of your dating life?  Here’s our playbook:

  1. Your Coach

Not all coaches make it into the finals, only the best ones. Everybody in life needs a good coach that’s going to center them, ground them and help them achieve what they need to achieve.  Those are the kind of coaches needed to help you navigate yourself in the dating game.

  1. Ownership

If you take a look at the best teams in football, they’re owned by the most stable people out there.  They don’t give up, don’t have bad days, or look for immediate fixes.  It’s like that with your dating life, as well.  Ownership is everything.  And stability is everything.

  1. The Quarterback

There is little doubt who belongs at the top of the list of the best quarterbacks; great leaders who always return to the finals with their team every year —–hello, Tom Brady.  So, technically you are the quarterback to yourself and your dating life. So be the best you can be.

So, think about this: as you slowly make your way through your dating life, you’ve got to be the quarterback, the owner and you should have a coach that keeps you on the right track.  Take a look at your dating life game plan. Do you have all three of those things?

I am……Coach Carstens !

“If you don’t plan your life, chances are you’ll fall into someone’s plan.  And guess what they have planned for you? NOT MUCH!”  –Jim Rohn

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Someone’s going to win at Finding Love– it might as well be You!

James (not Real Name) couldn’t get a break.  For the past three years, he spent 5-8 hours a week “playing” a few of the paid online dating sites, but he’s only hit it close to meeting his match less than a handful of times.  He still keeps trying, sure his luck is bound to change.

Sound familiar?  Have you been pouring time and energy into online dating looking for a chance to find love quick from the comfort of home and so far, it hasn’t worked.  To make matters worse your friend and/or colleagues are meeting someone on a first date. It really isn’t fair.

What a lot of singles don’t realize is that winning at finding love has nothing to do with luck and there’s no question playing the online dating game to find true love can be a fool’s game.    Play it for fun if you want but don’t do it because you think its going to help to find you your mate.

While its true, personalized matchmaking ups your chances of getting a second date 80%, its far more than the less than one-third of people who have used online dating have never actually landed a date with someone they corresponded with.

If you really want to improve your experiences for the chance to find love do something boring; keep trying and investigate the world of Matchmaking……. I’ll put all the finding, vetting and connecting on the table for you…… you can just have fun and enjoy!

 

No matter how bad or slow things go… “You’re still way ahead of everyone who isn’t even trying.”
– Tony Robbins

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Heads up! Only 1 Month till Valentine’s Day!

Here it comes! Just when you were resting on your laurels making it thru the holidays being single……its Valentine’s Day!  Call us kind of a weird-Os’ but Valentine’s Day is our favorite holiday.   Of course, we love Christmas but Valentine’s Day is special …. because it’s about a love that lasts all year for us!

So how do you get through being single on Valentine’s Day without quietly losing your mind? Glad you asked; Get Ready for Next Valentine’s Day!

Getting through Valentine’s Day this year is the first step. The final step is getting ready for Valentine’s Day next year… and each year after that. This may sound like a task that’s going to leave you waking up screaming in the night, but hear me out. Just as the key to getting through this Valentine’s Day is to take steps that give you greater control, the key to making it through future ones is to apply those same principles to your life. Dating – as I’m so often reminding people – is a skill. It’s something that you can take control of and improve with conscious effort along with a little help.

Making the choice to develop and improve those skills is part of how you make Valentine’s Day something you can enjoy instead of something you endure – whether you’re single or in a relationship. And while I’m not big on things like New Years resolutions, Valentine’s Day makes as good a day as any to decide that you’re going to actively work towards concrete steps to becoming more productive in dating.  Part of the point of working with a Matchmaker is to give you highly-specific, personalized advice and tools so you can make romantic success a reality. Whether you need to troubleshoot your dating life, get better results or make a total transformation, you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Ok so now you have been warned, there are no excuses.  Take control of your dating life and make this the last Valentine’s Day you have to suffer through alone.

I’m looking for your thoughts!  Let’s hear them!

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Love Notes in The Form of People- But Are You Listening?

“The Universe” responds and sends you messages all the time. Everything you see “out there” every single day is a response to what you are thinking, feeling, believing and doing.  But here is the really exciting news—you can make your world change within hours. How cool is that?

If your desire is to create a vibrant and fun new relationship with someone you’d love to spend time with a sign might be: you meet a stranger in line and a conversation ignites, you open your Facebook page and see a comment on one of your posts, or your sister calls to tell you she has someone you should meet.  Now the problem is, not everyone sees these little things as signs and if you miss the sign, you miss knowing if this could be creating your relationship dream and even worse you’ll literally stop the creation.  Ouch!  Well whether you overthink the “signs” or not and are not sure if you are heading in the right direction of finding a partner, I believe there are no coincidences.

Spreading love and understanding into “the universe” is common practice for us and our clients love the fact that we are able to give highly-specific, proactive, personalized “signs” when it comes to the roadmap that leads to their relationship success.

We always love to work our matchmaking “magic” through a love note in the form of a person.  Its up to you to figure out what to do with it!

 

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If your looking for Christmas LOVE then you are at the right place!

For many years, I can’t wait to watch all the Christmas movies possible that are aired on television during this holiday week.  Almost all Christmas movies follow the standard formula of someone discovering happiness over the holiday season usually by falling in LOVE.  Some of these movies are good as long as they’re done well.  So, without further ado……here are my favorites as I look forward to re-watching again this year. What’s yours?

Movie: A Boyfriend for Christmas – A young girl asks Santa for a boyfriend, which he promised to deliver in 20 years.  Twenty years later the same Santa brings her together with a boy she met briefly in her youth…..(Déjà vu)

Movie: Married By Christmas – Lady executive of a family business must get married before Christmas to prevent her slightly flaky sister from inheriting the company….(might be worth it!) 

Movie: Marry Me for Christmas – Business woman hires an employee to act as her fiance over Christmas to satisfy a mother pressuring her to get married….(who isn’t familiar with this one!)

Movie: The Mistletoe Promise – Two people hurt during past Christmases come together in a pact to help each other professionally over the holiday…..(The obvious happens)

Movie: Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus – Santa’s son has to find a wife before Christmas….(call Matchmaker Santa!)

Oh Oh Oh Merry Christmas !

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All I want for Christmas is you!

What’s your attitude about dating over the holidays? 

Forget the latest new gadgets, put down that brand-new watch, leave that aftershave on the shelf; Ladies, what men really want for Christmas is Love.   According to how busy I am this time of the year, men are the ones who really crave romance during the holidays.  For them the worst day of the year to be single is Christmas Day. Surprised?

Well it is possible to find love at any time of the year, but just 12 months ago, December 2015, I was lucky enough to meet Michael (not his real name) who took some time out of the holiday chaos to seek a different approach to find romance.

My advice was simple, lets put together an action plan to find love.  Its no different than a business plan, combined with no nonsense tips for finding his perfect mate and not wasting time with someone he was not compatible with.   We walked thru the steps which included scouting thru a series of confidential, custom high end ads that we ran in the paper and social media.

 

Then, in January, I met Elizabeth (not her real name) who saw his ad.  After qualifying she was a great fit for him, they met in February, and they both were smitten.  While I admit, you never know how things will play out with couples I introduce when it comes to chemistry, but if I’ve learned anything and the advice I give my clients,  you sometimes have to step outside the box and at least give things a try.  Today, December 15, 2016, just 12 months later, they’ve both had their Christmas wishes come true.

Lastly, here is a card from the self declared “lover’s sweethearts” I received in the mail today from their recent travels together quoting, “Every day with Michael, no matter what we’re doing, is such a wonderful day.  He truly is the love of my life.’”

aka…..Mistletoe Matchmaker!

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