Tag Archive for: #single

Goodbye 2024 & Dating ins and outs for 2025!

I must admit most singles I speak to are happy to say goodbye to a year of chaotic dating and welcome in a new more exciting one. Most say, in 2025 they will use the dating apps less and try to find their own meet-cute moments foraging brand new connections that will be emotionally deeper than what a handful of first dates will get you online.

But before you step into 2025, now is the best time to reflect on your dating wins & flaws, over the last year that you can work on while preparing for the year ahead.    What you might need to do differently to succeed, or do you need to make dating and your relationship a greater priority in 2025?

Take a few minutes to think about these few points to become a better dater.  It’s a small investment of time to set yourself up to make 2025 the best year yet to find your chosen one.

  • Remind me that I should treat everyone I date with respect and do everything out of love.
  • Show me how to control my emotions so that I don’t trauma dump on others.
  • Remind me to practice what I preach and surround myself with people that align with me that strive for betterment in their dating lives.

This can be very personal for some but don’t worry, none of us are perfect.  You can endeavour to spread some light and positivity into the world of dating and make 2025 your best year yet!

 

If you need some help to uncover and eliminate what’s holding you back, reach out to me, I can help [email protected]

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“You Too?”

 

When you first start dating someone, it can be exciting to discover that you have a lot in common.

CS LEWIS says Friendships start with the explicit or implicit statement, “you too?”

You love this painting too, you like this music too, you had the same experience with your parents too.  You see relationships start when there’s two people looking at the same thing and they have it in common…… “you too”. And that’s the beginning of a particular kind of relationship intimacy it brings.

However, it is important to be open-minded and accept differences that aren’t deal-breakers.  Being able to appreciate and respect each other’s unique interests, perspectives and backgrounds can take things to the next level.

 

 

 

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The Friendship Approach to Dating

 

In the present dating society, hardly anyone has time to actually even meet someone, let alone find ways to make the process smooth for you and the people you date. It’s not a one-size-fits-all solution but it can provide a strong foundation for a lasting, meaningful relationship.

There are 3 levels of friendship, and if you get stuck at lower levels it’s going to be a problem, especially for your dating life.

  • The lowest level is friendship of transaction. There is nothing wrong with it — it’s just incomplete. If that’s all you have you will be hopelessly lonely.
  • Above that is friendships of beauty, that are based on admiration of another person. You just want to be around them, they’re magnetic, it could be because of their physical beauty, sense of humor, intelligence, or success, but if that beauty goes away, so does the friendship.
  • The friendship that actually brings satisfaction is called the friendship of virtue…. its cosmically beautifully useless……its one where you have the greatest amount of knowledge about each other, because you’re truly interested in each other, your truly known because you truly want to know, and visa versa, you are loving them for them, and they are loving you for you. It is the hardest, thus why it’s virtuous, and the ultimate secret to the happiest life.
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Not Interested? Just Say So.

 

Most singles often don’t know how to express what’s going on for them when dating is not working. It might be they simply don’t understand why its not working or know how to explain it. Its like you could literally run a mile away from it, and its making single people not want to go on ANY dates.

The dating scene has completely evolved over the last decade where I have played cupid. One factor that makes dating harder is finding someone looking for the same type of relationship. Over 50% of the singles I speak to lately, indicate that this factor is a problem.  People define relationships differently, and they have different approaches to beginning one.  Trying to date someone who does not indicate wanting to take the relationship the next level can be frustrating. That is why it’s important to simply ask where someone is at and be honest with your hopes.

What if one could simply and politely say: “Hey I enjoyed spending time with you and would like to keep getting to know you” and give them an out if they’re not feeling the same way (e.g. “and yet, if you’re not interested, zero hard feelings.  I’d just like to know where you’re at”)

Who here agrees? Thoughts…

 

 

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Everyone Agrees: Christmas is about Love.

 

It’s almost Christmas time again and, to borrow the words of a famous disco hit in the 70’s “Love is in the air”.   And its a well-known fact that love is “in the air” every Christmas. It features in songs we hear as we shop, commercials we see, and present in the cards we send and the words we write on the tags we attach to the presents we give.  With Love From……

But when you read them phrase by phrase, and apply them to yourself, if you are single, they can transpose into a different key altogether. It can cease to be rhetorically pleasing and emotionally soothing;  instead, they become a deeply challenging analysis of your single life.

Perhaps that’s not what we expected this Christmas time….but when romantic love visits you again, I pray it stays till next Christmas.

 

 

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We are on the search for a Vancouver Bachelor for our Vancouver Bachelorette.

                                                                     

We are on the search for a Vancouver Bachelor for our Vancouver Bachelorette.

 

Meet Bachelorette B, a fun loving, smart educational professional in her 30’s.  Brimming with positive energy and intellectual curiosity, she enjoys reading, drinking coffee and is active in sailing, cycling, and running on the seawall with her dog.  Bachelorette B is a nurturing woman who loves cooking for her friends. She is funny , kind, adventurous and is a real gem!

 

Her ideal matches are guys 35-45, who are smart, genuinely kind, funny, quirky guys.  She’s very open and wants to fall in love with his brain and would like to have a family. Prefer Vancouver area (but lower mainland ok too).

Interested ?  For more information please DM or email [email protected]

 

 

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Aren’t you supposed to learn to like my Quirks?

 

Apparently not.

Most of the singles I meet have had their fair share of down-and-out dating moments.  Dates that end with a follow up text detailing all of your first date faux pas, the list goes on (and on).  So , I have a lot of empathy for all you dating warriors, who keep putting yourselves out there, trying to figure out what the other side wants, striving to be open to, and have enthusiasm for…… I don’t know, falling in LOVE.

All these things start to make me think that perhaps we’ve lost an important virtue on our way to finding a relationship;  HUMILITY.

I’m not talking about letting every bad date be proof of what’s wrong with you or your expectations, but humility is acknowledging that maybe we could do a better job of not being so hung up on ourselves and our non negotiables, and  that we can acknowledge these faults and start getting out of our own way on the path to finding a partner. Sure, we all deserve our own meet-cute, charming moments, that we can forget that we’re all flawed.  That’s the part that makes up beautiful and interesting. And it’s also part of what makes us annoying.

Truth be known, once you take a moment to swallow your pride, you might find how you learn to reconsider your habits in dating—its empowering– and therapeutic in a world where so much nonsense dating behavior is out of your hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Single Dad’s ; Spring Break Alert

While Covid has been a good excuse for not meeting up with just anyone, and he’s burnt out from dating apps , yet he’s never down in the dumps because he doesn’t have a partner. He would just love to meet someone who’s active and outdoorsy, and actually interested in him.

He is an amazing single Dad, 6’ in his early 40’s, that is trying to navigate his world running a niche business in Western Canada and raising his boys. For him saving time this March Break for more fun things like snowboarding, hiking, boating, eating out and spontaneous road trips or jumping on a plane almost anywhere – so he’s hired us while he enjoys spring break. 

 If you are open to meeting a real old fashioned valued guy and you’re in your 30’s message us to learn more and a chance to meet him. (In an exclusive way, and at no cost to you) or pass it on to your best girlfriends.

[email protected]

 

 

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How NOT to Burn Out, DATING

 

Born and raised a Toronto girl with nothing more than passion, a computer, a love for the West Coast, and for the last 20 years I have remained insatiably curious about human connections.

 

What makes singles genuinely happy, successful, and fulfilled while searching for the one? It is possible to dream big without running yourself into the ground, while still remaining optimistic, open, and stress-free.

 

Here’s the good news; I’ve learned from personal experience (and by interviewing some great successful singles), that you can accomplish meeting the one—without burning out. As long as you cultivate the right habits and plan of action.

Everyone’s plan will look a little bit different, but there are some things that should definitely be included;

  1. First and foremost, if you are serious (or even potentially serious) about finding the one is to have a clear head and an open heart.
  2. I will not rush it. It is so important to take your time in letting a connection develop and so worth it in the end. Taking things slowly can not only help you avoid mistakes, but it can also vastly improve your dating skills. There is no substitute for short-cuts.
  3. Seek wise counsel. Even if you are approaching dating with an open heart and committed to taking things slowly, you need to hear from people who know you well and who don’t get goosebumps when they hold your dates hand.

 

Well, there you have it; however, this is by no means an exhaustive list.  If you’d like to find a mentor to talk to about these kinds of things and don’t have one, consider reaching out to me. It would be my honor to support you and cheer you on.

 

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Modern Love

 

We have found that it is UNLIKELY that two people would get together to date in today’s world if they had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common.

In fact, the relationship goals of most of the singles, looking for relationships that we meet, are quite different than those of the past. Although it’s known that skiing, biking, and hiking use to top the list;  now different values and the extremely tough challenges that we have all experienced over the past couple years has become the priority.

One challenge in particular is that singles live in a world where independence and individuality are valued higher than they used to be, which means that sometimes relationships and family become a “back burner” priority.  But it’s never too late to make your relationship a priority.

Here are a few qualities successful singles have in common.

  • Love Unconditionally – always consider your partners feelings, don’t think you can change them, communicate your hopes and dreams with each other.
  • Trust One Another– often there are parts of one’s lives that are separate from each other, avoid trying to control, if jealousy comes up talk about it, and be open and honest about it.
  • They have Things in Common – its important to share taste in movies, music, food, shared values, intellectual interests and/or political views. This way there are at least a few things you enjoy doing together and you always have something to talk about.

 

While it is possible to build a relationship with someone you have a little in common with, too. Over time, chances are you’ll discover, learn , and try more things that you can both enjoy and share together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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