Tag Archive for: #single

The ID-to-Date Debate

In Australia, there is the possibility of a radical overhaul of online dating, which would include having to show proof of ID to sign up to the platforms. Some men and women have claimed the rules under consideration by the Federal Government would lead to over-policing and “take all the fun out of dating”. Others agree proving identity to gain access to the websites and apps is a great idea that would make them feel safer and confident to meet up.

Over the last year where we have had more restrictions, a lot of singles have been looking to online for dating.  The singles I speak to have been weighing in with the fact that they would feel safer meeting people from apps if they were VERIFIED.  The fact that there needs to be a lot more security and authenticating someone is a great first step.  There has literally been many situations and experiences for singles I have spoken to of fraudsters more over the past year alone and for most there is nothing much that can be done.  Some revealed they had been scammed with matches they have communicated with regularly over weeks and for some months, over the phone.   They never got to meet the person and said that there were excuses when asked if they could facetime to get to know one another and the red flags came when they ultimately asked for money.  There has been many cases showing fraudsters and abusers could work from the apps with little risk of being caught and even worse repeat offend.

From my experience, I do not think policing the sites would take the fun out of dating at all, it might actually “take the FEAR out of dating”.  However, singles who want to meet other trusted singles do the right thing.  Hire a Matchmaker to meet a Matchmaker Verified Single.   Clients we work with must provide identification including pictures of their passport or drivers license, and for some I even go to their homes to be verified.

Do you think singles should have to prove their identification to sign up to meet YOU?

You decide!

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Single? Get your GROOVE back!

Whether you’re bouncing back after a divorce, or recovering from the death of your life partner, returning to the dating scene is never easy.  Indeed, from the challenge of meeting someone new, to wondering if they’ll call again, to those inevitable questions about sex and intimacy, the prospect of getting back in the groove can seem downright daunting.

For the most part of the singles we meet, baby boomers are the fastest-growing group of new singles.  Indeed many in this age group are divorced, single or widowed and now find themselves back out on the dating scene for the first time in years.  The one important thing to remember is that almost everyone shares at least some of that same anxiety and if you want to start dating again, you won’t have to look far to find companionship!

Now if you have a happy and fulfilling life without dating, you shouldn’t feel pressured into a social scene that’s not right for you.  At the same time, if you’re craving companionship and maybe a little romance, don’t be shy about filling those needs – and the dating world is an excellent place to start!

So you are probably saying –now what?  How do you meet eligible people? Should you try online dating or do it the old-fashioned way, finding dates through friends, acquaintances or a matchmaker?

I can point out that dating is a numbers game, and you’re probably going to have to meet a few people before you find someone you really like.  And if you are a busy person with work commitments, kids at home, then you have to make dating efficient.  And there is no more efficient vehicle than working with matchmaker. 

Let’s take the first step together! We love working with first time back to the dating scene singles.  What may seem like a daunting task ahead of you is what we do everyday.  Helping guide our clients through the process and make the experience enjoyable.

Take the plunge email [email protected]

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Why You’ll Fall for “Funny” Every Time

This weekend , I saw one kick-ass live Comedy show with Trevor Noah and he had my back and didn’t disappoint.  Shocking as it may sound, when I ask singles what top qualities they look for in a partner, most say a sense of humor !

There is just something about a person who makes you giggle, and there’s a reason Seth Rogen never fails to steal our hearts in every movie.  Funny has a charm and electricity about it that’s hard to deny.  Here’s a few reasons why “silly” will always have you hooked;

  • It never gets boring and it makes things exciting because you have to be quick to keep up with he or she.
  • Sure anyone can tell a good old fashioned joke, but it takes a certain type of a genius to nail a punchline that will make you laugh until your belly hurts.
  • Nothing eases up an awkward moment better than a good-hearted joke – and they also know when the time is right to tease and when it is better not.
  • They teach you to laugh at life and yourself. What is a sweeter love when you can both truly be yourself around each other.
  • Unlike so many others who seem one-dimensional, funny people have a beautiful complex to them. When they are comfortable enough to reveal their sensitive side to us, it is a special and intimate feeling.
  • Most importantly, they never fail to bring a smile to your face.  If you laugh at all their funny antics, you probably have a crush.  If you also laugh at the failed one-liners, you my friend, are already in love.

Would a stand up show be a good date idea for you ?

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Give real gifts of love this Christmas

For those of us less fortunate enough not to be in a relationship, the coming of Christmas can present a challenge.   Let’s be honest; whether you care about your single status or not listening to relatives probing about our dating life can be draining, as can finding a home for the mountain of small amusing gifts coming your way.  For example, being in receipt of wall art or badass affirmations books and you immediately file it under a mental tab marked: Single at Christmas, again – sorted.

But there is a solution; And it’s simple –Give a gift of something to someone who needs it– Choose Love.

So, don’t shut out the idea of helping someone find love –give them a real present of love. This week, we have had several calls from people who realize that waiting patiently to let love find you does not have to be the case and this Christmas we are helping caring friends and family buy loved ones appropriate and indulgent matchmaking membership gifts, the thing that someone single actually needs; to go from single to taken!

Presents for single people truly in need; a solution to your Christmas shopping- It’s what we do.

Since you’re here, give us a call to find out more!  [email protected]

love ball and buttons  https://bigloveball.com/

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The new “It Breakup”

We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.

I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.

Dah!  You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”

Thank you, next……….

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HALLOWEEN; The Real Holiday of LOVE

 

Surprisingly forget Valentine’s Day, Halloween is the real festival of LOVE and according to psychologists they say that more people will hook up this weekend than on February 14th.

Why? Its all down to the science of fear and there is fairly good evidence that feeling afraid can trigger the same emotions as sexual arousal.   It’s a good idea to take a date to a horror movie as its acceptable to snuggle into a prospective partner shielding your eyes and that feeling afraid heightens the senses and increases attractiveness and attraction.  No wonder so many holidaymakers fall for their ski-instructors or mountain guides as its impossible to separate feelings of sexual attraction from feelings of fear. A hunky Whistler snow moose ready to help you down that scary black run, will make it so much the better.

I’m always telling my clients its important to do something that scares you every day to grow and feel fulfilled especially when it comes to dating. But this—well it’s likely to help your love life too.

 

 

 

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Dating; Step Outside the “Border”

We have all heard the stories.  First dates costing more than $2000 after spending months of online back and forth messaging, hours of late-night phone calls, and then finally booking a flight and deciding to meet.  Such long-distance romances use to grow out of fateful encounters on holidays, or perhaps far-flung business meetings but today a growing number of cross-border courtships, some owed to an instant message across time zones, is becoming not about what to wear on your date— it’s what to pack!

Statistics show that 52% of Canadian on-line daters have e-mailed someone out of country in the past 30 days.  I have also seen a spike in Matchmaking clients open to long-distance dating; after starting out searching within five miles of their postal code and as they get more comfortable they stop limiting themselves so much and more open to step outside the “border”.

This city’s only so big, and when the girl next door is no longer next door, its nice to open up the possibilities for my clients by working with other accredited “Cupids” from other cities.  This summer I’ve relied on connections with fellow cupids from Seattle, San Fran, San Diego, New York, London UK and of course continue working with my fellow Canadian ones all the way east to Toronto with some great success.

That’s certainly the case for our affiliate Matchmaker friend Ali Migliore of Simply Matchmaking in Seattle.  “There is definitely an infinite number of single people here open to dates from other cities and this summer, I knew I had to connect with Jane about an amazing client I had in Seattle who was open to expanding her search to the Vancouver area.  By us both knowing our clients so well, we were able to come up with a great match and our clients met and both said it was the best match yet! Looking forward to dozens of more potential romances happening with the help of our cross-border cupids at Matchmaker for Hire.”

Of course, expectations are always heightened when a plane fare is actually involved and its easy to feel cheated if the romance doesn’t work out (this kind of dating isn’t for the faint of wallet) – plus there’s added pressure if it does.  But for some, however the distance is a bonus and that not being around someone all the time can be ok if you are just as busy as they are.

So, if your tolerance to being uprooted is increased, let your Matchmaker know.

 

Jane Carstens –Matchmaker for Hire- Western Cda                   

 Ali Migliore – Simply Matchmaking – Seattle

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Altogether Lovely – MEET Maria !

Meet Maria; She enjoys the freedom to meet her friends in the middle of the day, take Monday’s off and lives a great life in James Bay, Victoria. 

Because she believes so strongly that she needed a unique approach to find her soul mate, Maria was reluctant to try online.  Afraid she’d “sound desperate” and she didn’t want to sound like every other single person out there.  At the same time, it was difficult to find the one. Something had to change.

For her, Matchmaking was both authentic and compelling to finding the right one.

So here you go,  Meet Maria!  If you are a 60+ gent living on Vancouver Island  message me to find out more [email protected]

As seen in the Victoria Times Colonist – Sunday September 16th, 2018

 

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The Labour of LOVE

If it wasn’t for love, I’d be out of business.  Whether through disappointment, pain, betrayal, abandonment or the ongoing struggle to keep it alive, LOVE fuels every text, email, and phone call to my mailbox.

You might imagine that such a job, exposed daily to the devastated landscape of our broken dreams, would turn a person to cynicism or agonising thoughts.  Instead my client’s anguishes offer me comfort: access to the intimate detail of other’s lives consistently proves that our greatest motivator what we’re consumed by down the decades, isn’t money, success, power or even plain survival, but finding a safe place where we feel protected by the embrace of those we love.

Now I am not exposed much to the glorious beginnings of any relationship, the days full of giddy excitement, heart palpitations and the hope.  My business is at the back end of that story, digging about in its wake; failed love and all the many ways that love betrays our optimism.

In love’s aftermath that you witness the immense fragility – whether a bereaved parent or a broken-hearted lover – and understand that we are shaped and formed, built and broken by our desire to be connected to each other in meaningful ways.

Personally, I’ve always been as confused about love as anyone – probably more so.  I know matchmaking clients for 16 years has in some ways caught me up to where some peoples understanding was already!  And I’m only partly joking about that.  Overall, the stories have made me feel grateful about what I have and make me want to aspire to do better.

Jane Carstens

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Friday is GUY-day! Meet my Bachelor

Friday is GUY-day: Ladies and Gents we introduce you to our new series. #guydayfriday .This is my Victoria based client and he has a career in finance, is a traveler & coffee lover. Get to know him here and contact me to meet him;  [email protected] 

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