Tag Archive for: #vancouversingles

How to know if/when we are being too hard on ourselves.

I’ve seen it over and over in hundreds of smart, high-achieving singles I speak to and yet today, I still get the same question- “How do I know if or when I’m being too hard on myself when it comes to dating?”.

In working with singles over the last 20 years,  we find most are engaged in what we call “perfectionistic over functioning” – doing MORE than is healthy, appropriate, and necessary, continually moving the goalpost , trying to get an A+ in all of the aspects of dating and exhausting ourselves to the bone in the process and trying to keep up with what you think you “should” be doing.  If you answered “yes” to one or more of the above , it’s safe to say you are being too hard on yourself, it’s not serving you and it’s holding you back.

Simply shifting this mindset can truly expanded your thinking. Strengthen yourself, by building strong boundaries, learn to say “yes” to what you want, and “no” to what is not tolerable or acceptable—like your lives depend on it, because they do.

Do you want help finding and attracting your right partner? Would you like advice from a 20-year matchmaker that has interviewed over thousands of singles and personally helped thousands of clients with their search of finding the right person?

I offer personal coaching services, online dating profile review, and a real “hands on” perspective.

To schedule a call contact [email protected] , I look forward to assisting you.

 

/by

Yes, it’s “Spring Break (up)” Season, Baby.

There’s really no great time to do it, unfortunately, one of those break up periods is upon us.  Statistics put together from Facebook data, show 2 big spikes.  One right after Valentine’s Day, but the sharpest increase by far happen in the weeks that lead up to spring break (which officially starts this week). While a March heartbreak on one hand makes sense after cuffing season, there obviously has to be an uncuffing period.

We have seen an uptick in breakups around March and have some theories.  In Spring, we all get this natural boost, and we’re feeling more energetic overall.  This also means we’re more aware of our partner’s more annoying patterns—like when its rainy and dark in winter—we aren’t totally checked in to what’s going on in our lives, including who we are dating.  But as the days get longer, people feel more motivated to tune in and make changes.  Sometimes that means kicking their lover to the curb and getting rid of the person who’s holding you back. However, if you’re the person being broken up with, that isn’t super fun. But in some ways, it’s a good time because singles who have been hibernating throughout the winter are coming out and want to go out and have fun, laughter, and experience new things.

So instead of sobbing into the sleeve of your puffer coat, you can use this time to revaluate – be open and optimistic while dreaming of good weather on a rooftop on a date with a cocktail in hand.

/by

How NOT to Burn Out, DATING

 

Born and raised a Toronto girl with nothing more than passion, a computer, a love for the West Coast, and for the last 20 years I have remained insatiably curious about human connections.

 

What makes singles genuinely happy, successful, and fulfilled while searching for the one? It is possible to dream big without running yourself into the ground, while still remaining optimistic, open, and stress-free.

 

Here’s the good news; I’ve learned from personal experience (and by interviewing some great successful singles), that you can accomplish meeting the one—without burning out. As long as you cultivate the right habits and plan of action.

Everyone’s plan will look a little bit different, but there are some things that should definitely be included;

  1. First and foremost, if you are serious (or even potentially serious) about finding the one is to have a clear head and an open heart.
  2. I will not rush it. It is so important to take your time in letting a connection develop and so worth it in the end. Taking things slowly can not only help you avoid mistakes, but it can also vastly improve your dating skills. There is no substitute for short-cuts.
  3. Seek wise counsel. Even if you are approaching dating with an open heart and committed to taking things slowly, you need to hear from people who know you well and who don’t get goosebumps when they hold your dates hand.

 

Well, there you have it; however, this is by no means an exhaustive list.  If you’d like to find a mentor to talk to about these kinds of things and don’t have one, consider reaching out to me. It would be my honor to support you and cheer you on.

 

/by

A Dating Challenge to KICK OFF 2022

For most singles, the New Year is the most proactive season to get out and find love. We all have rituals round many things in our life, and I myself will recommit to conscious eating and more exercise.  This being a seemingly endless season of difficulty and uncertainty for everyone—and yet, as is always the case, singles have never had more of a desire to find love.

So, to mark the passing of 2021 and to ring in 2022, I’m sending you this New Year’s inspired reminder, along with a dating challenge.  Start with an inventory of  lists and in place of resolutions, desire your way into a New Year of dating consciously.

Your challenge:

  1. What parts of dating in the last year worked for you, big or small ?
  2. What did last years dating euphoria leave you yearning for ?
  3. What’s behind you dating anxiety from the most mundane to the dreaded?
  4. What safe dating resources and practices saw you thru that you can rely on in 2022 ?
  5. What would a version of your “wildest dream” date look like, no matter how unrealistic ?

 

Leave a comment

 

/by
,

Do you have plans for New Year’s?

 

So here we are the beginning of November. Over the last 20 years that I have been matchmaking,  I don’t know of another four weeks when singles lurch forward into new states of mind quite so dramatically and we are busy.

Hoping to see physical manifestations of our hearts desires feels more urgent on these longer November evenings, and before we shift inevitably into the next year, and if your single you get feelings to find somebody to love.  Consider where we were last year at this time.  Vaccine trials, hospitals overwhelmed, borders still closed, November has always been a month of high emotion, whether it’s longing, loss, or memories of closeness.

But come on. Everyone, at one point in their lives needs encouragement along the way and you are no different; without fail our clients hold on to that believing. They let US focus on it and they are enthusiastic to accept meeting potential local love possibilities.

Though patience is a virtue, there is a limit to everyone’s patience. Where are you ?

Happy New Year…this is the year of ….?

 

/by

Want to break out of the “HINGE” game?

Whether you’ve been online dating for what feels like forever or are totally new to the search for love, or a date online, there’s no denying “swipe apps” start to feel like a game.

I personally hear from my clients everyday that they don’t like it and its more frustrating than not. Want to break that logic?

We’ve gathered and broken down some of the best matchmaking practices around so you can get back to the dating life and we’ve answered some of your most commonly asked questions to help you find The One with the qualities and values that matter to you most.

You can choose what type of person you’d like to meet.  This allows us to truly tailor our services on an individual basis and filter matches so that you can get started exploring profiles that you can accept or decline to meet,  straight away.  We set up the first date—it’s that simple.

I’m so grateful for a 20-year career that I look forward to each day and clients that give me the drive to constantly exceed their expectations.

Your Love Warrior, Jane xoxo

Contact me [email protected]

 

/by

Help for Empty Nesting and Dating

I have seen over this last month with the singles I speak to, it can be quite difficult as a parent to adjust to a new home and family dynamic after the kids have moved out or on to university living. They have shared feelings of loneliness and restlessness and it’s important to realize that along with this big change come many possibilities, especially if you are SINGLE.  Rather than an end, this time in your life can be a wonderful new beginning.

It isn’t a bad thing; simply put its time for you to spread your wings.

Connecting with others who are looking for love in the same situation and those you may not have had time for in recent years.  You can start with brushing up on your dating skills, get some new photos, create a great bio and put yourself out there to meeting others for fun, friendship, or romance interests that’s totally new to you.

It’s easy and just a matter of putting forth an intentional effort to “date”.

If you need a little help, contact us [email protected] We are always keen to help. No Strings attached.

 

/by

The ID-to-Date Debate

In Australia, there is the possibility of a radical overhaul of online dating, which would include having to show proof of ID to sign up to the platforms. Some men and women have claimed the rules under consideration by the Federal Government would lead to over-policing and “take all the fun out of dating”. Others agree proving identity to gain access to the websites and apps is a great idea that would make them feel safer and confident to meet up.

Over the last year where we have had more restrictions, a lot of singles have been looking to online for dating.  The singles I speak to have been weighing in with the fact that they would feel safer meeting people from apps if they were VERIFIED.  The fact that there needs to be a lot more security and authenticating someone is a great first step.  There has literally been many situations and experiences for singles I have spoken to of fraudsters more over the past year alone and for most there is nothing much that can be done.  Some revealed they had been scammed with matches they have communicated with regularly over weeks and for some months, over the phone.   They never got to meet the person and said that there were excuses when asked if they could facetime to get to know one another and the red flags came when they ultimately asked for money.  There has been many cases showing fraudsters and abusers could work from the apps with little risk of being caught and even worse repeat offend.

From my experience, I do not think policing the sites would take the fun out of dating at all, it might actually “take the FEAR out of dating”.  However, singles who want to meet other trusted singles do the right thing.  Hire a Matchmaker to meet a Matchmaker Verified Single.   Clients we work with must provide identification including pictures of their passport or drivers license, and for some I even go to their homes to be verified.

Do you think singles should have to prove their identification to sign up to meet YOU?

You decide!

/by

Give real gifts of love this Christmas

For those of us less fortunate enough not to be in a relationship, the coming of Christmas can present a challenge.   Let’s be honest; whether you care about your single status or not listening to relatives probing about our dating life can be draining, as can finding a home for the mountain of small amusing gifts coming your way.  For example, being in receipt of wall art or badass affirmations books and you immediately file it under a mental tab marked: Single at Christmas, again – sorted.

But there is a solution; And it’s simple –Give a gift of something to someone who needs it– Choose Love.

So, don’t shut out the idea of helping someone find love –give them a real present of love. This week, we have had several calls from people who realize that waiting patiently to let love find you does not have to be the case and this Christmas we are helping caring friends and family buy loved ones appropriate and indulgent matchmaking membership gifts, the thing that someone single actually needs; to go from single to taken!

Presents for single people truly in need; a solution to your Christmas shopping- It’s what we do.

Since you’re here, give us a call to find out more!  [email protected]

love ball and buttons  https://bigloveball.com/

/by

The new “It Breakup”

We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.

I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.

Dah!  You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”

Thank you, next……….

/by